3.10.2020 – No enthusiasm

No enthusiasm
stuck in a rut, routine, meh
No motivation

Meh.

It is a real word.

A word in the dictionary/

A word expressing a lack of interest or enthusiasm.

As an adjective, uninspiring or unexceptional.

According to wikipedia, meh’s popularity surged after its use on the American animated television series The Simpsons. It was first used in the 1994 episode “Sideshow Bob Roberts”, when a librarian reacts to Lisa’s surprise that voting records are not classified.

Meh was added to the Collins Dictionary of the English Language in 2008.

I call it stuck.

Stuck in a rut.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders describes stuck in a rut as dysthymia — the mild, chronic cousin of depression, the symptoms of which are low energy, low mood, loss of interest, and general anhedonia (loss of pleasure).

I got that from the article 10 Signs That You’re in a Rut by Tania Luna in the magazine, Psychology Today.

She writes:

Let’s talk rut diagnosing, beginning with a checklist. The more items you find yourself checking off, the more likely that you are stuck.

10 – Day to day, you don’t look forward to much (other than maybe sleeping or just getting through whatever you’re doing).

9 – You’d like to get your creative juices flowing, but it seems someone left an empty juice bottle in the fridge.

8 – Even though you keeping checking things off your to do list, it doesn’t feel like you are getting much done.

7 – Your days all blur together, and it’s not weird to look up blinking and ask, “Is this Tuesday or Thursday?”

6 – By the time you get “free time” you are too tired to do something interesting with it or are just plain unmotivated.

5 – If you answered “How are you?” genuinely, you’d say something like, “Meh.”

4 – You fantasize about getting away (and not just away on vacation).

3 – You’d like to add something new to your life, but you’re sure that you’ll never have enough time and/or energy for it.

2 – You’re getting sick of hearing yourself complain about feeling stressed, tired, and unfulfilled.

1 – … and the Number One rut symptom: Even though you think you’d be happier if you made a change, it’s more comforting to stay the same and mope about it.

I scored 10 for 10.

Maybe I got this dysthymia.

Maybe it’s March, before the madness.

Maybe it’s Corona fatigue.

Maybe it’s Election Fatigue.

Maybe it’s the 10 days of rain in the forecast.

Maybe.

Meh.

3.5.2020 – driving rain driving

driving rain driving
nothing delicious to it
dark that absorbs light

“There’s really something rather delicious about walking in the rain,” says Willie Keith walking in the rain in New York City in Herman Wouk’s The Caine Mutiny

“You wouldn’t think so if you had do it,” says his girlfriend.

It started raining here in Georgia sometime in December or November.

In the last three months Georgia has had over 25 inches of rain.

50 inches of rain in a year is normal for Georgia.

The current 14 day outlook from today shows only 4 days without rain in the forecast.

That 50 inches per year average is more than Michigan’s 33 inches of rain but Michigan has 52 inches of snow.

Looking out at the rain is down right depressing.

Driving in it.

Driving in the rain.

Driving in the driving rain.

Operating a motor vehicle at speeds that should scare me over rain slicked pavement that not only takes away my ability to stop my vehicle but through some trick of physics, also absorbs the light right out of the air so I can’t see why I might need to stop my vehicle.

This is stupid.

This is scary.

It is scary that even though I know its stupid, I do it anyway.

It is stupid that I am not more scared.

Why do I do this?

Like the people in their accidents will say, “I never think it will happen to me.”

2.11.2020 – day long drip drip drip

day long drip drip drip
clouds to roof, through the ceiling
buckets by my door

Plumber once told me that he had to remember three things.

Payday was friday.

Don’t chew your fingernails.

Water flows downhill.

Keep those three things in mind and you can succeed as a plumber.

I have been reminded of water flowing downhill for the last week or more.

Been raining so long the roof of my building is full.

Leaks, previously unknown, are making their presence known all around me.

Drip Drip Drip.

I work in the online world.

I am surrounded by cutting edge technology.

And buckets.

I pretend that the building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright.

Wright’s buildings were famous for bad roofs.

One home owner wrote about his FLW designed house, “The roof design itself had some interesting design issues that almost guaranteed water penetration.”

On the other hand, another FLW home owner wrote about their leaky roof, “that is what happens when you leave a work of art out in the rain.”

Drip Drip Drip.

All day long.

Guaranteed water penetration.

I like that.

In my techno world, it fits.

No leaks here.

Lots of guaranteed water penetration.

2.9.2020 – drive across seasons

drive across seasons
winter to spring back again
east west Atlanta

Woke up yesterday to a gray, cloudy but dry morning.

We had plans to go to Woodstock, Georgia, north of Atlanta, for a baby shower.

Ominously, son Lucas, who was hosting the party and texted everyone, “We are still on!”

30 minutes later he texted, “come at your own risk.”

By 8AM, here in Gwinnett County, north-east of Atlanta, it started to snow.

At first just a little, then a lot.

Wet heavy snow.

Brought back memories.

Lots of memories.

Discussions started about the party.

Go or no go?

For people born and raised in Michigan, driving in snow is no big deal.

Unless you happen to be in Atlanta.

There, no one else knows what to do.

There, roads are not cleared or salted.

There, roads are built without shoulders.

The 10 feet you might have available for a shoulder is turned into another, barely wider than a car, traffic lane.

There, roads are carved out of ridges, ravines and hollars with 20 foot steep drop offs on either side.

Winter, snowy weather car travel in the south is not designed to accommodate cars.

My solution was to go explore.

I needed gas in my car.

I said I would go get gas and make an assessment.

I was back in 10 minutes.

Got less than 1 mile from the house.

Cars were everywhere.

Even on the roads.

But everywhere else as well.

I pulled into the a driveway and turned around and felt lucky to get home.

“Nope, no way”, I announced when I walked in.

The party was postponed to Sunday.

My daughters in the city of Atlanta wondered if we were nuts or scaredy-cats.

They accepted the decision but sent photos of clear roads and no snow from just 10 miles away.

Later that same day, my wife and I had to take our son to downtown Atlanta.

This had been planned to be a part of our day after the party.

It was a very quick trip as by this time everyone was staying home.

It was around 2PM and the snow had stopped and was melting fast.

Driving out of Gwinnett County we soon left the snow behind.

By the time we got to our destination in East Midtown Atlanta, there wasn’t even a hint of snow and the roads were dry.

My wife and I passed the time in a cafe over Latte’s and Beignets and the sun poured through the windows of the cafe.

Driving home, we could see the edge of the storm front up ahead.

We left the sun behind and entered into the clouds and fog and cold and gray.

I felt like we had driven across the seasons in just 20 miles.

Somewhere I read that spring time advances 5 minutes or maybe it is a day for each degree north or something like that.

Trying the google and I can’t find the actually figure.

Earl Shaffer, the first person ever to walk the entire Appalachian Trail titled his book, “Walking With Spring

South to north, walking with spring, is one of the best lines of pure poetry I ever read.

We went west to east and left spring behind.

Winter, up north winter, has come for a time to North Georgia.

I don’t mind to visit winter, but I would not want to live there.

2.8.2020 – snow snow go away

snow, snow, go away
come again some other day
I don’t want TO play

In my brain is a quote from some character in some book somewhere.

It’s a quote from some rich guy who lived in a huge house.

The quote was, “101 rooms and I spend my day searching for the warmest one.”

I got nothing against snow.

Except for the way it is cold.

The way it piles up.

The way it needs to be shoveled.

The way it makes me slip and fall,

The way it makes my car slide and crash.

The way it turns gray and ugly.

Aside from those things and a couple hundred other things, I agree that it can be pretty.

Walking in a heavy thick falling snow is an incredible experience.

If I was a real poet or artist I might be able to describe the light of a full moon on freshly fallen snow.

Moon shadows!

But more than that, I want to be warm.

Hotlanta?

Bring it on!

String of 90 degree days from Memorial Day to Labor Day?

Sign me up!

Tshirts and shorts and warm breezes, WARM BREEZES, at the 4th of July fireworks?

That is my choice to celebrate independence.

I spent the first 50 years of my existence in West Michigan.

I have shoveled TONS of snow in my lifetime.

I pushed countless cars out of the snow.

I have removed wet socks innumerable due to snow and slush.

Went to bed last night with predictions of snow.

Woke this morning.

Prepared myself and looked out the window.

Flowering tree was blossoming in the back yard.

And no snow!

Celebrated with another cup of coffee and a plate of frozen Walmart waffles.

Here is to no snow!

UPDATE – in the words of the Sponge Bob narrator, 2 hours later ….

Bleechhhhhh

Bwahahhahah

11AM – don’t need this

Oh well