10.26.2021 – is temporary

is temporary
continued postponement still
necessary … what?

I admit it.

My faith in the Government of the United States has been, well, shaken, stirred, somewhat less that it might have been?

Yes yes yes, I told all the jokes.

Quoted Ronald Reagan, “The scariest words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the Government and I am hear to help.'”

Mark Twain’s, “Suppose I was insane and suppose I ran for Congress. But, wait, I repeat myself.”

And not to forget Mr. Jefferson’s, “The Government that governs least, governs best.”

STILL.

I like my country.

I like my government.

All its faults, it is what it is.

But of late I worry about it.

It is just not the same.

Then along comes a document and some of that old buddy-buddy goofy gotcha feeling was little bit restored.

Did you see it?

It was a document released by the White House as an official “Memorandum for the Heads of Executive Departments and Agencies” dated October 22, 2021.

In part it stated:

Temporary continued postponement is necessary to protect against identifiable harm to the military defense, intelligence operations, law enforcement, or the conduct of foreign relations that is of such gravity that it outweighs the public interest in immediate disclosure.

This is such a wonderful collection of words of multi syllables hammered together in such a wonderful way that it, in part, restored my faith in my government to respond like a government.

It could have been said by Humphrey Appleby.

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
I foresee all sorts of of unforeseen problems.

Jim Hacker:
Such as?

Sir Humphrey Appleby:
If I could foresee them, they wouldn’t be unforeseen.

My old Government!

It can still sling out the verbiage with the best of them.

Temporary continued postponement is necessary.

Just say that out loud.

It’s … it’s … Shakespearean!

Let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the harm to military defense, intelligence operations, law enforcement, or the conduct of foreign relations.

I am not talking about names or personalities here, but the monolithic double speak that is written by the body of government, the all inclusive, corporate beast that mandates or tries to mandate things like Fair Labor, Un-American Activities, Interstate Commerce and the Services of Internal Revenue through the use of the English language.

I don’t know.

Harm that is of such gravity that it outweighs the public interest in immediate disclosure.

See that all inclusive, military defense, intelligence operations, law enforcement, or the conduct of foreign relations!

The use of OR here is magnificent.

Somehow restores my faith in Government you know?

Lets not leave out what the memorandum is about.

The full title is, in all its’ governmentalease glory, “Memorandum for the Heads of Executive Departments and Agencies on the Temporary Certification Regarding Disclosure of Information in Certain Records Related to the Assassination of President John F. Kennedy.”

President John F. Kennedy was assassinated back in 1963.

More than 60 years ago.

Lee Harvey Oswald was one of the youngest people in the story,

Oswald would be 84.

Anyone in else involved the conspiracy, planning and or coverup is most likely … dead.

Yet our Government is telling us that they HAVE documents about the conspiracy, planning and or coverup, that if released would cause identifiable harm to the military defense, intelligence operations, law enforcement, or the conduct of foreign relations that is of such gravity that it outweighs the public interest in immediate disclosure.

The mind boggles.

Did LBJ do it?

Did Lady Bird do it?

Are we at a point that I have to explain who LBJ and Lady Bird were?

Are they now as obscure as Babushka Lady, Umbrella Man and the Three Tramps?

I have to interject, those are all real personages in the JFK assassination story.

Good ahead and do the Google if you have to.

But come on.

Identifiable harm of such gravity that it outweighs the public interest?

Oh I don’t know.

Somehow it was reassuring that the government had not lost its touch.

As Mr. Twain writes in The Man that Corrupted Hadleyburg, “There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the emotions of an audience not practiced in the tricks and delusions of oratory.”

I won’t hold my breath but maybe the next time we can get, permanent temporary continued postponement.

10.25.2021 – things in our lifetime

things in our lifetime
almost everything has not
been invented yet

Tom Morey has died.

Mr. Morey was 86.

In my collection of Names What You Should Know, Tom Morey is listed under M for Morey and F for fun.

Is his obituary in the Guardian, it says, “The most significant person to get people in the water.“

Tom Morey invented the boogie board.

Tom Morey invented the boogie board back in 1971.

Mr. Morey was a surfer who thought maybe surfing could be brought more into the world of the casual beach goer.

Sol Morey, Tom Morey’s oldest son is quoted as saying, “There’s this dynamic of toughness involved with surfing, but now you had grandads, kids, who could skim it.

They could stand up on it.

It was soft.

When you are able to go into the ocean and come out of it unscathed, unhurt, that really does something to you.

The ocean is something to be feared, but the Boogie Board took some of that fear out.“

I live on the ocean now.

I understand it is something to be respected and feared and I respect and, well, kind of fear the ocean.

I swim so far out that my wife calls me ‘first course’ as the sharks will get me first.

I love the water.

I love to see people in the water.

That some one had to invent the boogie board, I see so many of them on the beach, never occured to me in my brain.

I would have thought that, had I thought that, that they had been invented by a Walmart Marketing team tasked with ‘What can we create that everyone will buy when on vacation with a price coming in around $20.”

To learn that they had been ‘invented’ was kind of cool.

To learn that they had been invented with the goal to get more people in the water and to take some of the fear of the water out of the equation was kind of freaking cool.

I have to look around and look at all sorts of every day things for the beach as well as the home and every day life and think who came up with that?

Then to think ahead.

What is coming next?

Putting Tom Morey into the Google for more information I came across another obit.

Another one I found in the University of Southern California (the west coast USC, the Unbelievable Spoiled Children one) Alumni News, that quoted Mr. Morey as saying, “Almost everything has not been invented yet.“

Almost everything has not been invented yet.

As I seem to read everything I can lay my hands, I say that certain phrases and thoughts and combinations of words catch my eye and stop me for a second on that spot of text.

I have to say that, in my humble opinion, that phrase, almost everything has not been invented yet, is really kind of freaking pretty cool.

And when you add to the mix in your brain, that it was said by a guy who invented something with the purpose of making the ocean MORE fun, I again think, what is coming next.

I can look ahead.

It is not ALL bad.

Not all despair.

Not all covid.

Not all poltics.

There are boogie boards out there in all walks of life that are just waiting to be invented.

Maybe I’ll spray paint it on my wall.

Almost everything has not been invented yet.

I feel that I could be the next great inspirational speaker and deliver lectures at $100 a ticket and just tell the story of Mr. Morey and the boogie board.

I could wear shorts and a Hawaiian shirt and carry a boogie board on stage.

I would say, with dramatic pauses, “Almost everything … has NOT … been invented yet.”

I’d make millions.

Maybe I’ll come up with next boogie board.

Who knows who will?

I do know this.

Next time I am at the beach, I am bringing a couple of flowers or something and I am tossing them into the ocean.

And I am going to say thank you to Tom Morey.

10.22.2021 – vulnerable to

vulnerable to
commonsensical scorn of
those who seek little

I like to quote whoever first said it that common sense is pretty uncommon.

I like to think there is such a thing as common sense.

I like to think that common sense has a common denominator.

I like to think that common sense means the same thing to all people.

I have to realize a new and a new over and over again, that what is common sense to me may be alien political dogma to another.

I don’t know when I first read the above Charlie Brown comic strip.

I do know I thought it was really funny.

After I read this I loved being inside when it rained and yelling to the world at large, “See? See? See?”

Not saying that it was thought that I had little common sense or not enough sense to come in out of the rain.

Never once did I have anyone tell me that, “It’s not raining” or “That’s not rain” or “that rain is fake.”

There were some things that were accepted.

Today?

Today everything is on the table.

Today everything is open for discussion.

Today everything is … well … you get the picture.

Everything includes common sense.

Reading from the excerpt, “leave ourselves more than usually vulnerable to the commonsensical scorn of those who seek little.”

Mr. de Botton is writing about, of all things, a light switch on the wall.

Its a string of words that describe the last decade better than book I have come across.

Adapted from the book, The Architecture of Happiness (2009, Vintage Books) by Alain de Botton, and the passage:

We will, of course, run a risk if we spend extended periods analysing the meanings that emanate from practical objects. To be preoccupied with deciphering the message encoded in a light switch or a tap is to leave ourselves more than usually vulnerable to the commonsensical scorn of those who seek little from such fittings beyond a means of illuminating their bedroom or rinsing their teeth.

According the The New York Review of Books, this is “A perceptive, thoughtful, original, and richly illustrated exercise in the dramatic personification of buildings of all sorts.”

What I find irrestible in reading Mr. de Botton is his use of language.

I get the feeling that if you made a spread sheet of all the words, adverbs and adjectives used by Mr. de Botton, you just might find that he used each word just once.

Neat trick in writing a book.

If I knew how to do that, I would.

10.21.2021 – I learned that no one

I learned that no one
was coming to rescue me
and that was OK

In my morning reading of the news of, about and from around the world I came across the article, “Life after loneliness” or was the title, “Life after loneliness: ‘I was a single, isolated workaholic – until I learned to love my own company‘”?

The article was written by someone named Saima Mir.

Not that the name meant anything to me but according to her website she is ” . . . a writer and journalist. Read all about my thoughts on life, love, and the world, as I navigate writing and raising boys.”

I was intrigued enough to read the story.

It was the usual story of someone dealing with a lot of issues and then coming to terms with those issues.

It was her conclusion that I found unusual.

When I read the lines:

What I learned was that no one was coming to rescue me – and that was OK.

I found acceptance, and even began to love my own company.

Offering an empathic ear to others also set me free.

I am all about solutions.

My life in online news was folks bringing me problems and me fixing those problems.

If life throws a problem at me I know there has to a fix, a solution to that problem.

There has to be.

There has to be, right?

Maybe not …

Maybe there is no fix.

Maybe there is no solution.

Maybe there is no fix or solution within my means.

Goodness knows my path through this world the last year should be evidence that I am not the one in charge.

My morning starts with reading.

My morning starts with reading and coffee.

My morning reading starts with The Bible.

My Bible reading starts with the Bible Gateway’s Verse of the day.

I try not to read too much into my reading.

That each verse is selected for me.

I was part of the team that created this online feature back in 1995.

We were given a text file of 365 Bible verses and then we created a script that presented one online every 24 hours on the Zondervan website.

So the concept that each day’s verse was selected personally for each person is a bit hard to accept.

But then we are talking about God things so maybe it isn’t that hard or shouldn’t be that hard to accept.

ANYWAY, the verse the other day was “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (Psalm 27:14).

Wait for the Lord.

Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

I am OK with that.

See, I don’t need to be rescued.

I will be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

That is why no is coming to rescue me.

And I am OK with that as well.

Yeah, sure, easy to say but I am OK with that, too.

10.19.2021 – where is humor bred

where is humor bred?
in the heart, in the head?
not on the google . . .

Whether you were aware of it or not, the Google has let it be known that the World has come to an end.

Maybe the World as I know it.

Maybe the World as I think it should be.

Maybe the World as I think that you should think that it should be.

Never the less, this World is ‘la fin’.

Let me explain.

I am the online guy for a company located in South Carolina.

Human Resources (just saying, that term always has me shaking my head … just what WAS wrong with personnel?) has never known what to call us web people.

We started out as Webmasters.

That is the term I prefer.

Back in the day it meant something.

It meant something to other webmasters.

It meant we did it all.

Coding, Server Admin, DNS, Images, Scripting, Hosting and Email and anything else that it took to create and manage a website.

I think today such a person is a Full Stack Developer.

But HR was never really comfortable with a job title with the word master in it.

As an aside, you want to freak out an HR rep, ask them for a job title that includes the word manager.

I have been Web Guy, Web Guru, Podfather, Digital Specialist and other things.

They have their language and I have mine.

As the company web guy one of my tasks is to keep up on what the Google is doing and make sure that the company website and web polices are not in any way working against Google.

This would be a lot easier if the Google themselves knew what they were doing.

You do what you can.

Some of the changes that affect everyone who uses the Google is how the SERP is put together.

You all use SERP’s everyday and I bet you didn’t know it.

SERP is the search engine results page or the page you land on once you enter a search term into the Google,

You may or may not have noticed the way the Google is changing their SERP.

Where there used to be a list of search results you now have paid ad position results, rich snippets, knowledge graphs and knowledge panels, the three pack and the image pack and a whole lot of other links.

These are all bits of information that the Google has decided may be helpful to you in your search for some piece of information online.

The Google wants to help.

Honest.

That is why the Google also added the SERP block titled, PEOPLE ALSO ASK.

The Google is all about what other people clicked on when duplicating your search.

The Google wants to help you by suggesting other possible searches if the results for your original search are not what you were searching for.

This is what brings me to todays haiku.

where is humor bred?
in the heart, in the head?
not on the google . . .

Recently I had reason to search the EXACT title of the Monty Python Movie, The Search for the Holy Grail.

The news of late has not been great has it?

Drought, Fire, Famine, Crime, Politics, Pestilence and Harry and Meghan all brings on the feeling that the World is rolling fast downhill.

As Minister Jim Hacker once said, “When things are going downhill we need someone to get in the drivers seat and step on the gas.”

Despite all the headlines of despair, it was my search for the EXACT title of the Monty Python Movie, The Search for the Holy Grail that shook my core to the core.

The apocalypse isn’t coming.

The apocalypse is here.

Let me show you why.

I typed in Monty Python and auto complete added ‘and the holy grail’ which I was comfortable with and I hit enter.

I got my SERP.

I looked at my SERP.

I looked again at my SERP.

I stared at my SERP.

I stared in horror, that cold-water-in-the-bath realization coming over me.

Did it really say that?

Did it really really say that.

I had just used the Google to search Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Simple enough.

The Google wanted to help.

The Google asked itself why I or anyone today might search Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Like I said, the Google wanted to help.

To help me and the world, anyone who might search Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the Google suggested searches BASED ON THE GOOGLE’S recorded global experiences of what other people were searching for.

Understand?

The Google TAILORS its search results based on what other people clicked on who entered the same search terms.

In other words, the Google, wants to be helpful, and the Google is saying, “Good Morning Searcher, we saw your search and we thought that these search terms might help in your search for knowledge on this subject.”

Notice I said KNOWLEDGE, not WISDOM.

The Google read my search and from that, the Google let me know what the other top questions were by searchers who had made the same search, which are listed for me under, PEOPLE ALSO ASK.

My search was Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

The three most asked questions by searches who also searched Monty Python and the Holy Grail, according to the Google are:

What is Monty Python and the Holy Grail making fun of?

Is Monty Python and the Holy Grail funny?

What is the point of Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

Yep.

Folks, friends and neighbors, forget about the World rolling downhill.

It has crashed into the ice berg.

There is no longer time for the lifeboats.

When the Google Search world at large asks, HAS TO ASK, “Is Monty Python and the Holy Grail funny?” it is all over.

The fat lady has sung.

Turn out the lights.

The party is over.

I don’t care if you know the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow or not, we are in trouble here and no kidding.