December 12 – Past year, how much good,

Past year, how much good,
I take credit? How much bad,
I think is my fault?

Can I answer that question?

Honestly?

Easy!

I doubt I really accomplished and did anything that might be considered good or good for people this last year.

The amount of bad things?

Things I consider to be ‘my fault’ are countless.

Beyond numbering.

I am smart enough to know that isn’t true.

I did do some good.

Not everything was my fault.

I am somewhat smart enough to know that thinking this way is wrong.

But.

There it is.

Maybe it just the easy way out.

Yup, it’s me, it’s all on me.

Pile it on.

Considered in the abstract, it’s kinda stupid to feel this way.

If I cannot take credit for anything good, then why do I line up at the ‘remorse, oh woe is me’ window at the feelings bank?

James Thurber wrote in his fable, The White Deer, about the Royal Astronomer and the King.

“There was a knock on the door and Paz, the Royal Astronomer, came into the room. He was a young pink-cheeked man in a pink robe and his pink eyes peered through pink lenses.
“A huge pink comet, Sire,” he said, “just barely missed the earth a little while ago. It made an awful hissing sound, like hot irons stuck in water.”
“They aim these things at me,” said [King] Clode, “Everything is aimed at me.”

Well, you know what.

The next time a meteor passes the earth.

The next time something goes wrong.

The next time somebody is looking for someone to blame.

I am going to say (or at least think) not my fault.

Of course, still get going to try fix the issue or help out (if possible).

But its not on me.

The next time.

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