11.17.2021 – found in rare places

found in rare places
beauty being fugitive
how to possess it

I feel lucky.

Know what I mean?

I feel lucky.

I have lived in three places in my life.

For the first 50 years of my life I lived in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

On the North End of Grand Rapids, Michigan.

I used to say I lived 1 mile from the house where I was born.

Well I wasn’t born there but where I lived, after coming home from Butterworth Hospital.

Come to think of it, Butterworth Hospital probably wasn’t much more than a mile away either.

Growing up in Grand Rapids and going to an elementary school where 90% of the kids came from Grand Rapids, I remember one of my teachers going around the room and asking each kid which hospital they were born at.

There were three possbilitlies.

Butterworth was the most mentioned and the coolest as it made you think that was where the pancake syrup came from.

Then Blodgett.

But Blodgett was such an odd sounding name that we all decided that had you been born at BLODDDDD-ghet you yourself were kind of odd.

And then there were the few Catholic kids who were born at St. Mary’s.

There were so few Catholic kids at my school as most Catholic kids in the neighborhood went to Blessed Sacrament.

BUT they didn’t go to Blessed Sacrament until 2nd grade.

So these kids were part of our class for two years and then mysteriously disappeared from school.

They disappeared from school but not from the neighborhood.

We would still see these kids in the park and such.

And the word would spread, ‘They go to Blessed Sacrament.’

As my only other exposure to Catholic churches and schools at that time was St. Mary’s Hospital, I figured ‘going to Blessed Sacrament’ meant they got sick.

It was weird too because in the morning after school started we could look out the windows at the Blessed Sacrament bus as it stopped at the corner and we would see these kids line up and get on the bus and go off to therapy I guessed.

That bus stop was at a corner right next to our school, Crestview Elementary.

The Blessed Sacrament bus in the morning came by that corner, as I mentioned, after school had started.

The Blessed Sacrament bus in the afternoon came by about 10 minutes after our school got it.

Over the years it had become part of social schedule of Crestview Elementary to gather at the corner and when the Blessed Sacrament Bus stopped at the corner, exchange greetings with those kids on the bus.

Language used in these greetings was most unusal.

It would have been okay had you been deaf as both groups of students also used sign language to express themselves.

That it was the B.S. bus was just a gift of the Gods.

In the short story, I Went to Sullivant, James Thurber writes, “Now and again virtually the whole school turned out to fight the Catholic boys of the Holy Cross Academy in Fifth Street near Town, for no reason at all–in winter with snowballs and ice balls, in other seasons with fists, brickbats, and clubs.

I knew just what that was like.

This exchange lasted as long as the bus was at the corner and then satisfied that honor had been upheld, everyone went home.

When I got to sixth grade and was a member of the school safety squad, that was my corner.

Most of the time, being so close to the school, the kids who had to cross came and went quickly and I could take off.

But every once in awhile I stuck around … just to observe don’t you know.

That year, the Crestview Greeters must have got louder or more persistent or something because neighbors complained to school.

I never figured out how it came about but the Principal, Mr. Domagolski, arranged with Blessed Sacrament to have his wife ride along on the B.S. Bus.

Mrs. Domagolski road the bus and reported two things to Mr. Domagolski.

The first thing she said was she had NEVER heard such language.

Mrs. D needed to hang out on our playground a little more often.

The 2nd thing she said was, “AND THAT SAFETY JUST STOOD THERE AND DIDN’T DO A THING.”

I know this because both Mr. Vanderwheel, the teacher/coordinator of the school safety squad and I got called in the Principals office together.

When you think about it, this was again irony on the greek tragic play level.

It was in Mr. Vanderwheel’s class that I was awarded around 364 demerits.

And now both of us were in the Principal’s office.

Mr. D repeated the line, “the safety didn’t do anything” and glared at me.

I can’t remember what I said or if I melted into the floor.

This was big time crime.

And I was in for it.

I think I did ask what could I have done?

And what was I supposed to do?

I was about 5 feet tall and weighed about 47 pounds.

Any 4th grader could have beat me up and most of the mean 4th graders already had.

Really?

I was supposed to stop this crowd and make them shut up?

And besides that, how was this NEW to anybody?

It had been going on for as long as I could remember.

Mr. D stared at me then looked at Mr. Vanderwheel and back at me and said slowly, one word at a time, “YOU ARE OFF THE SAFETY SQUAD.”

In my mind I remember that he walked over and unhooked my orange cross belt and let fall to floor but that may not have happened but it felt like it.

You remember the TV show, BRANDED, where the show’s opening depicts Chuck Conners getting drummed out of the Army and and his sword taken away and broken over someone’s knee?

That’s what it felt like.

And we left.

Mr. Vanderwheel kinda sorta said he was sorry but there was nothing he could do.

But he did do something.

He let me stay on the squad a substitute.

Which was kind of funny as a safety had a corner every other week.

As a sub, I was getting calls almost everyday.

I never ever got that corner by school again.

I am pretty sure that once or twice Mr. D say me on a corner with my belt.

It seems to me like I waved.

But it was never mentioned again.

ANYWAY, as I was saying, I lived a mile from the house where I was born and a mile from the cemetery where I would be buried.

That was Fair Plains Cemetery, a City Of Grand Rapids Public Cemetery where my Father and Grand Father was buried.

My Dad said so many people from the North End in general and our Church, Berean Baptist, in particular, were buried at Fairplains that Resurrection Day was going to be like a Sunday School picnic.

From where we lived at the time, a small triangle connected my house, my mom’s house and the cemetery and that was my world.

Once when I was working at WZZM13 in Grand Rapids, there was a general conversation in the newsroom about travel and traveling.

General Conversation in the newsroom was one of the best things about working at WZZM13.

Here was this great big room, crammed (pre-covid) with desks, TV’s on everywhere, radios and cop scanners blaring and everyone would be engaged in a general free for all conversation on anything but the news.

Never knew what we would be talking about and what might be said, but everyone contributed.

I remember once to make a point, I raised my voice in song and sang the ‘WHERE OH WHERE ARE YOU TONIGHT’ song from HEE HAW.

I got to the second WHERE and the entire newsroom or at least all those who knew the song, joined in.

The best part was the look on the face of the people who didn’t know what was coming and when we all hit the “THHHHHHPTTTT You Were Gone” people screamed.

So into this conservation on travel, I interjected my “I live a mile from where I was born and I mile from where I am going to be buried” and Jenn, the noon show anchor, tears up and says, “That is so depresssssssssssssssssssssssssssssing.”

Little did I know or ever imagine that my job would take me to Atlanta, Georgia and then to the South Carolina coast.

I now live almost 1000 miles from where I thought I might be buried.

The plan today is ashes in the ocean but that’s another story.

I am living in a place I had never heard of before.

I am living on the coast of the Atlantic Ocean that I had only even seen twice in my life.

And I am lucky.

I have met a few local people down here.

And by local I mean people who grew up here.

It isn’t easy.

30 years the population of Bluffton, SC, was 738.

Today it is over 30,000.

Less than 1 out of 30 folks down here are locals, long time locals.

And you know what?

They don’t go to the beach.

Nothing new to see there for the long time locals.

For me?

Everything is new.

I love it.

This is a rare place.

The beauty in places like this are fugitive.

I wonder how I can possess it?

I wonder can I possess it?

And I quit wondering and just enjoy.

I am lucky.

Lucky to see this new, to see this new at my age.

And just enjoy it.

Lucky.

Moonrise over Folly Field Beach – Novemebr 2021

Adapted from the book, The Art of Travel (2002, Vintage Books) by Alain de Botton, and the passage:

A dominant impulse on encountering beauty is to wish to hold on to it, to possess it and give it weight in one’s life. There is an urge to say, ‘I was here, I saw this and it mattered to me.’

But beauty is fugitive, being frequently found in places to which we may never return or else resulting from rare conjunctions of season, light and weather.

How then to possess it, how to hold on to the floating train, the halvalike bricks or the English valley?

The camera provides one option. Taking photographs can assuage the itch for possession sparked by the beauty of a place; our anxiety over losing a precious scene can decline with every click of the shutter.

According to the website, GOOD READS, Any Baedeker will tell us where we ought to travel, but only Alain de Botton will tell us how and why.

As I said in the section on Architecture , what I find irresistible in reading Mr. de Botton is his use of language.

I get the feeling that if you made a spread sheet of all the words, adverbs and adjectives used by Mr. de Botton, you just might find that he used each word just once.

Neat trick in writing a book.

If I knew how to do that, hey, I would.

** More from the category TRAVEL — click here

11.16.2021 – in this twilight zone

in this twilight zone
don’t know what this is really
take to get fired
?

At some point in the course of being the head coach of the Detroit Lions of the National Football league, the head coach will give voice to their legacy quote.

At some point, being the coach of the Lions gets to them and they express their frustrations in a quote that lasts longer than the time they were head coach.

This week, after a pretty brutal overtime tie game to the Pittsburg Steelers, head coach Dan Campbell said, “I’m in this twilight zone, I don’t know what this is really.”

We do.

It, for lack of anything better, its the Same Old Lions.

Look at this list of quotes.

None of these are made up.

“I mean for us, it’s obviously – we’re trying to get better. We’re just trying to get better.” Matt Patricia

It’s not easy to win and I think that often times people kind of take it for granted.” Jim Caldwell

“It doesn’t end well for head coaches in the NFL, no matter how much you want it to.” Jim Schwartz

It answers how I go through all this every day. It’s dark and I’m going to dig through. My shovel is sharp and my pick is sharp and my will is outstanding.” Rod Marinelli (Most folks still not sure what he meant or even if he knew what he meant)

Sometimes you take two step backwards to take one step forward. Sometimes, it’s five steps back.” Steve Mariucci

There’s no excuses in this league. Snap, hold, kick.” Marty Mornhinweg (Just that simple)

We better get better as the year goes on.” Matt Millen (A GM not a head coach but this feller HIRED the 3 preceding fellers – haven’t we suffered enough?)

I get all the damn criticism — people hammering me! I’m a good coach! I know what the heck’s supposed to be done! And I’m not going to second-guess myself one damn time!” Bobby Ross

About Bobby Ross, “Bobby got to the point where he literally tormented himself over each loss,” said Lions general manager Chuck Schmidt. “He felt his job was to get the team ready to play, and he didn’t know what else he could do.

I’m like that big buck that’s in the field.” Wayne Fontes

What’s a guy have to do to get fired around here?” Daryl Rogers (This was AFTER being given a contract extension.

It was answered, but the answer was No.” Monte Clark on a silent prayer for a last play 43 yard field goal to win the game on go on to the NFC Championship in 1983. Lions kicker, Eddie Murray missed.

I can go back to Tommy Hudspeth but I cannot find any quote.

I did find the UPI story about him being fired and his entire 8 member coaching staff let go.

The story quoted Lions Owner William Clay Ford saying, “Ford today called Hudspeth an ‘outstanding individual…’ For the sake of the loyal Lion fans and the general good of the football team we just felt a change was necessary at this time.”

Think of that statement, For the sake of the loyal Lion fans and the general good of the football team.

Got that in your head?

The UPI story said, “The Detroit Lions today dismissed their head coach, Tommy Hudspeth, and his eight‐man coaching staff. Hudspeth’s staff included Bill Belichick, Rollie Dotsch, Wally English, Ed Hughes, Bernie Miller, John Payne, Floyd Reese and Fritz Shurmur.”

So For the sake of the loyal Lion fans and the general good of the football team, William Clay Ford got rid of Bill Belichick.

Bill Belichick has won SIX Super Bowls since.

In the same time, the Lions have won ONE playoff games.

I know I know I know but there it is.

Back in 2008, Mitch Albom wrote, “Then again, what’s a coach to do?

Every time the other team lowers the bar, the Lions crawl under it.

They are the NFL’s answer to the Limbo.

John McKay (USC Student Body Right – the only football play named after a student demonstration) had an old saying: “Don’t coach the great ones too much because you don’t want to tamper down their talent.”

Maybe that is the problem here.

These fellers who coached Detroit some how coached TOO MUCH and tampered down all the talent.

Maybe it would be better to get the 11 best athletes they can and then let the quarterback draw out plays on their hand like we did playing in the park behind Aberdeen Elementary School.

It is at the point that if the Detroit Lions announced that they were going to do everything they could to assemble the worst team possible in NFL History, the current Lions would still lose to them.

They say about Juwan Howard, the basketball coach at the University of Michigan that he can get players to play better than they know how.

Somehow the Lions do that too.

Only in reverse.

Still the Lions manage to accomplish the impossible.

Each year it seems, they make last years team look better.

Notice I stopped at Tommy Hudspeth.

The earliest Lion’s Coach I can remember is Rick Forzano.

I could not find a quote from him but here is his picture.

Often a picture says 1000 words.

I think I can explain why.

William Ford’s brother was Henry Ford II.

Henry Ford II was by all accounts one the biggest jerks to come off a Detroit assembly line.

William wanted to stand out from his brother’s shadow.

The easiest way to do that was to be, simply, a nice guy.

And William Ford gloried in that.

By all accounts.

From his players, to his coaches, to his staff to everyone, William Ford was the nicest guy you might ever meet.

When Leo Durocher said nice guys finish last, William Ford decided to show just how true that was.

If Lions fans could talk to him I sure he would understand.

He wanted to win too.

But if the choice was win or be a nice guy, winning came in 2nd.

In my mind, I kinda like it.

It’s that trick the Cubs developed over the years of being lovable but being losers.

I warned a lot of Cub fans that finally winning a World Series may create a greater sense of loss than never winning.

Like Henry Hill at the end of the movie, Goodfellas, the Cubs are no longer the worlds most loved losers, they are like all the other teams that managed to win one World Series, “an average nobody… get to live the rest of [my] life like a schnook.”

Back when I worked at WZZM13 TV in Grand Rapids, Michigan, I wrote a story for online asking readers to send in their favorite Lions memory.

Neither here nor there but I miss Henry Wofford.

I still wear his good luck tie to work when I need good luck.

In the story I said come on, there have to be some good moments, right?

I started it off with a tribute to the great Dexter Bussey.

Dexter understood Detroit.

Dexter said, “These fans are great. They support us. They don’t mind losing. They get off on that somehow.

The next day I got a call from Dexter Bussey’s son.

He wanted to tell me how much my story meant to his Dad.

I don’t think Dexter got a lot of fan mail.

Also we got 4 other positive memories sent in.

I think one reminisced about how happy Lions fans were when they traded for Scotty Mitchell.

If I had a chance to talk to Dan Campbell I would love to tell that no, you aren’t in the twilight zone.

You are with the Lions.

It’s a nicer place to be.

11.15.2021 – sun shining worship

sun shining worship
vast, beautiful cool treasures
airy heights pale beams

Church this month in the Low Country is being held outdoors on a piece of property where the Church hopes to build a Church.

Nothing too unusual about that but in this case, the Church has partnered with the Local Community Theater in an effort to build a Community venue that on Sundays will host the Church and the rest of the week will be the area community theater.

Kind of a cool idea when you come down to it.

In conversation with the Pastor he remarked that their Bank isn’t quite sure how to deal with this.

The Bank has a plan to loan money to build a Church.

The Bank has a plan to loan money to build a Community Theater.

But the Bank isn’t quite sure how to proceed when the two partner together to raise money together and share the building.

So the Church is meeting this month on the property here in Bluffton, SC.

My brain for the most part is still on Michigan’s Weather Schedule.

I look at the calendar and think Sunday Morning Church outside in November and I dressed in several layers.

Layers that weren’t necessary as the sun was out and the morning was perfect for Church.

A vacant lot in a business development in South Carolina may not be the prettiest spot on earth but that morning, with the sun on my face and the incredible blue vault of sky over head it wasn’t bad.

Bill Bryson’s account of visiting St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome came to mind.

Curch in the Low Country – Fall – 2021

Mr. Bryson wrote: “St Peter’s doesn’t look all that fabulous from the outside, not at least from the piazza at its foot, but step inside and it’s so sensational that your mouth falls open whether you want it to or not. It is a marvel, so vast and beautiful and cool and filled with treasures and airy heights and pale beams of heavenly light that you don’t know where to place your gaze.”

I felt that.

But I felt that this morning just being outdoors.

No big building.

I felt that for the warm sun on face.

It brought to mind also Berean Baptist Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

The Church where I grew up.

Not sure why but after being on the board, the church history committee, teaching 4th grade Sunday School for 10 years (if that doesn’t give you a fright I don’t know what will) and the church librarian, I still got greeted by greeters.

I would be welcomed and exchanged pleasantries,

Then I would be asked if I had been there before.

And I would answer I been going there since 1960.

Then the greeter would realize I was one of ‘those’ Hoffman’s.

There was a time when, with 11 dutch kids, we took up 2 full pews it seemed.

Two full pews of blond kids.

The Church was in the traditional design with what was probably a 4 or 5 story sanctuary open from floor to roof beams with a balcony running around three sides of the interior.

The walls reached high above the balcony on either side and way up near the top were wide stained glass windows.

There were times when everything worked out and morning sun would pour through those windows and multi colored beams of light reached out across the congregation.

I thought it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.

It wouldn’t last long.

At some point, someone sitting in the sunlight would squirm and then hold a Church bulletin over their head to shield their eyes.

Then another and another.

And that would be it for the sunshine.

Upstairs in the Balcony there were be some movement.

I knew what was coming and while I regretted the loss of sunshine what came next was pretty good,

Upstairs an usher would be making their along the balcony to stand under the windows.

In their hand would be a 20 foot bamboo pole with a metal hook on the end.

Above each window was a rolled up window shade.

Hanging down from each shade was pull cord about 20 feet long hanging down.

There was a small loop in the bottom of the cord.

As you might have guessed at the this point the usher was going to try and fish the hook on the end of the pole though the loop on the cord and pull the shade down over the window.

At this point, the sermon was over.

The Pastor knew it.

The congregation knew it.

I sure knew it.

This was like what Woody Hayes said about passing football.

Three things could happen and 2 of them were bad.

Except that with a 20 foot bamboo pole, a 20 foot cord and a spring loaded window shade there were a whole lot more than three things that could happen and only one of them was good.

This being a Baptist Church everyone ignored what was going.

This being a Baptist Church everyone watched anyway but trying to not watch.

When the pole went up and the hook missed the loop you could hear a pulse run through the church.

An audible sigh.

That poor usher knew that everyone was watching.

Now there was NO WAY that this was going to go well.

And it did go well every once in awhile.

An older, experienced usher would know what to do and they would catch that loop the first time and slowly draw the shade down and handle that tricky point of the deal where the loop was removed from the hook with the same tension being maintained on the cord so that the downward progress of the shade was maintained at a steady rate.

But there was nothing an older, experienced usher wanted to do more than to hand off the job to some new guy, some young guy who WANTED THE JOB, who wanted to show just how slick they were.

No older, experienced usher never ever wanted to deny this opportunity to learn to someone eager for the job.

We never seemed to be short of those who were eager to give this a try so this was almost always a great show.

Repeated efforts to hook the loop.

The mistake to pull straight down without working that pole to lay out at an angle so that you could bring the shade down in one continuous motion.

Let the loop off the hook.

And what we all waited for, to lose the cord at just the wrong time and release the tension in the pull in just the wrong way so that the spring was released and the shade was rolled back up happened a lot.

Sometimes this happened slowly and everyone would smile as the shade rolled up.

Sometimes this happened in a rush and a snap and then folks laughed out loud.

Sometimes it was right out of the movies and the shade rolled up so fast and so hard that it rolled over and over and tangled everything up with the cord.

When that happened I fell out of the pew and my brother Pete had to sit on me with his hand over me mouth to keep me quiet.

Once it seems that the shade shot up and rolled and snapped and actually fell off the wall but that might have just been me hoping real hard.

Did I mention there were three of these windows a side?

Somehow Church went on.

And at some point someone came up with the bright idea of putting really long cords on those shades so we didn’t need the pole anymore.

Neither here no there but it seems like that happened after I had reached an age where I might be expected to not try something with those cords had they been in reach.

It sure made church interesting from the none-going-to-meeting point of view.

I was a kid but I understood the predicament of the Pastor.

Poor guy had to keep going in the face of adversity.

But maybe because I had read Huckleberry Finn I felt maybe they might have handled this differently.

In Huckleberry Finn a funeral is interrupted by the most outrageous row busted out in the cellar a body ever heard. It was only one dog, but he made a most powerful racket, and he kept it up right along.

The funeral went on just like Church did..

But in Huck Finn, the undertaker went to investigate “… and then rose up, and shaded his mouth with his hands, and stretched his neck out towards the preacher, over the people’s heads, and says, in a kind of a coarse whisper, “He had a rat!” Then he drooped down and glided along the wall again to his place. You could see it was a great satisfaction to the people, because naturally they wanted to know. A little thing like that don’t cost nothing, and it’s just the little things that makes a man to be looked up to and liked. There warn’t no more popular man in town than what that undertaker was.

Yesterday just as the Preacher started preaching a whole bunch of Harley Davidson motorcycles went by.

My wife noticed that everyone on cue, like a drill team, looked to the right.

It was so much a group effort that the Pastor stopped and looked.

“They’re Motorcycles,” he said.

YOU HAVE ALL SEEN THEM BEFORE.

And with a laugh we went on.

There warn’t no more popular man in town than what that undertaker was.

Sermon in the Sun.

Worship in the sunshine.

Life in the low country.

11.14.2021 – Still frowned upon.

Still frowned upon.
Then, what isn’t these days, right?
Why not? What the hell.

Somewhere in the writings of Roger Angell, a writer for the New Yorker magazine who, of all things in the New Yorker, covered baseball, there is this story.

How does someone get to be the baseball writer for the New Yorker?

For one thing, you better have a way with words.

And having Katherine Angell White for a mom and EB White for a step-dad won’t hurt either.

The story goes that when the 1962 San Francisco Giants won the pennant, the news room editor of the San Francisco Chronicle yelled for the headline, WE WIN.

HOW BIG?, someone yelled back.

Same size as FIDEL DEAD!

Joseph Cotton – Orson Welles – Everett Sloan

In the movie Citizen Kane, Kane, his business manager, Mr. Bernstein, and his editor are arguing over the size of headline.

“News wasn’t big enough,” says the editor.

“If the Headline is big enough, the New is big enough,” responds Kane.

“That’s right Mr Kane,” says Berstein.

Pardon me for a strange interlude.

“The Gods Look Down and Laugh … this would be a better world for children if the parents had to eat the spinach.”

NO NOT THAT STRANGE INTERLUDE. (You will have to do the google)

I just went online to check on the spelling of Mr. Bernstein.

He may be my favorite character in Citizen Kane and he was played by actor / songwriter Everett Sloan

And I says to myself what else did Everett Sloane do in his career.

And thanks to Wikipedia I found that I had seem him over and over again in an appearance on the Andy Griffith Show.

In the episode, Keeper of the Flame, when Opie is accused of burner down a barn, the crabby old farmer, Jubal Sloane, is player by Everett Sloane.

Everett Sloane as Jubal Early

Mr. Sloane is also credited with writing lyrics to the Andy Griffith Theme song.

What do you do when you write the lyrics to one of the most recognized tunes in American history and the tune itself is known for the fact that is whistled and not sung?

Interlude over, back to the blog.

In the age of the tablet and the hand held device all headlines are the same size.

How do you ‘glance’ at the headlines to get a feel for today?

If I do that this morning what I see is Cop26, Trump, Britney and Free Britney, Ghislaine Maxwell, the Queen’s Bad Back, Maine Lobster, Pence Disloyalty, Republican Obstruction, Why staring at screens is making your eyeballs elongate – and how to stop it, Houses of tomorrow: A more hopeful vision of domesticity, or a dystopian nightmare?, Harry and Meghan, Greek prime minister tries to broker deal for return of Parthenon marbles, Texas schools resist Republican request for records on classroom books and We’re going to need a bigger planet: the problem with fixing the climate with trees.

That is just one newspaper.

If I look at the headlines on something like Google News, it seems that almost anything and anyone can get a headline.

Everything gets a headline.

Everything is still frowned upon by somebody.

It is those frowning that get the headline.

Squeaky wheel I guess,

My haiku comes from the movie, the Royal Tenenbaums.

I recently watched this movie as I was searching out other movies directed by Wes Anderson.

Sometimes I think my life IS a movie directed by Wes Anderson.

In the movie, Royal Tenenbaum, played by Gene Hackman, is approached by his ex-tennis playing son with a question.

Royal’s response is:

Still frowned upon.
But then, what isn’t these days, right?
I don’t know, maybe it works.
Why not, what the hell
.”

I am not going to tell you what the question is because it seems that the response is just perfect for anything and everything right now.

Royal continues:

Nobody knows what’s going to happen, so…
You know something.
Don’t listen to me.
I never understood her myself.
I never understood any of us.
I wish I could tell you what to do
but I just can’t.

Anyone who reads this blog, and thank you for those who do, you know that I know that God knows what is going to happen.

But in the day to day life on the this planet when you WANT to know what is going to happen in the day to day it is good, I think, to know that nobody knows what’s going to happen, so… you know something, don’t listen to me.

If you want to do something, most likely it will be frowned upon by somebody.

But then, what isn’t these days, right?

Sometimes things work out.

And sometimes you write the words to a song everyone knows, but nobody sings.

I don’t know, maybe it works.

Why not, what the hell.

*In honor of Everett Sloane, here are his lyrics to the Andy Griffith Show theme song.

Well now, take down your fishing pole
And meet me at the fishing hole
We may not get a bite all day
But don’t you rush away
What a great place to rest your bones
And mighty fine for skipping stones
You’ll feel fresh as a lemonade a-setting in the shade

What a fine day to take a stroll and wind up at the fishing hole
I can’t think of a better way to pass the time of day

We’ll have no need to call the roll
When we get to the fishing hole
They’ll be you, me, and old dog, trey to do the time away
If we don’t hook a perch or bass
We’ll cool our toes in dewy grass
Or else pull up a weed to chaw
And maybe sit and jaw

Hanging around, taking our ease
Watching that hound a scratching at his fleas

I’m gonna take down my fishing pole
And meet you at the fishing hole
I can’t think of a better way
To pass the time of day


Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Spencer / Hagen / Sloane
The Fishin’ Hole lyrics © Larrabee Music Publishing

11.13.2021 – both speed convenience

both speed, convenience
with deliciousness and the
joy of creation

My Mom and little sister, Aunt Mernie .. about 1962?

Seem to writing a lot about food lately.

But then it is the season.

Harvest time.

Thanksgiving on the way.

Cold weather.

Below 75 degree weather.

Fall weather.

All adds up to comfort food.

It is that time of year.

And a new documentary is being released on November 12.

A new documentary on Julia Child.

Says co-director  Julie Cohen, “Julia changed the way Americans thought about food, fully and completely, from the idea that the goal shouldn’t just be about speed and convenience, but deliciousness and the joy of creation.”

In a review of Julia in the Guardian, Charles Bramesco writes, ” . . . she arrived not a moment too soon, lighting up a gustatory dark age of Jell-O molds, mayonnaise-based “salads” and tinned pineapples.

I grew up in that gustatory dark age.

I grew up in that era of Jell-O molds, mayonnaise-based “salads” and tinned pineapples.

When I started making my own Thanksgiving dinners I figured that what was missing was the Jello mold from my childhood.

So started my families’ tradition of the a ring of strawberry Jello filled with strawberries, blueberries and clementine’s and covered with non-dairy whipped topping slowly melting on the Thanksgiving table.

Imagine our surprise when a guest to our table, born and raised in the South, took one look and yelled, “CONGEALED SALAD! HOW COOL IS THAT!”

Congealed Salad is now an expected part of the holiday meal.

My parents either got engaged or ‘reached an understanding’ before my Dad left to go to Europe for World War 2.

While my Dad was overseas my Mom thought about their future life together.

Even though her Mom, my Grandma Hendrickson, was acknowledged far a wide as a great cook, my Mom signed up for free cooking classes sponsored by the General Electric company.

The General Electric company wanted folks to buy their new electric ovens and stoves so what better way to make folks need them then to teach them how to use them.

According to a history of these classes I found online, the classes were in theaters where attendees watched meals being created on stage.

Attendee’s received souvenir recipe booklets to take home and study while wishing for a new electric ovem.

I think some of those recipes stayed in my Mom’s repertoire forever.

I knew we were having oven baked chicken when early in the afternoon I would hear my Mom flatten a big bag of potatoes chips with a rolling pin to create the crispy coating that the chicken would be dredged in before going into the baking pan.

Another item that from this era that lasted was my Mom’s famous Candlestick salad.

Lay a piece of lettuce on a salad plate.

Put one ring of sliced canned pineapple on the lettuce.

Take a banana and slice into two halves.

Slice the very tip off the banana halves off so that both ends are flat.

Slice a bright red maraschino cherry in half.

Stand one of the banana halves in the center of the pineapple ring.

Place a half cherry on the tip of the banana.

Drizzle whipped cream over the banana-cherry and serve.

Maybe I was sheltered or something but it wasn’t until I served this to my almost-son-in-laws and they fell out of their chairs laughing over the sexual innuendo comments they all made that I came to see this salad in an entirely different light.

DO NOT MIS UNDERSTAND ME.

My Mom was a great cook.

She embraced speed and convenience, with deliciousness and the joy of creation.

By the time I showed up, my Mom was cooking for 10 people (counting herself) everyday.

And three more kids were on the way.

All I am saying is that I grew up in the 1960’s of home cooking.

I sure don’t remember much complaining.

Well, okay, beef chunks wasn’t anybody’s favorite but there it is.

May have been a Sunday Dinner about 1962 – Note MILK (my brother Paul is reaching for the pitcher of milk that would be refilled often), juice cup – 3 veggies (though that may be a bowl of peaches for dessert) – there is a gravy bowl so there was most likely a Sunday Roast or maybe ham, rolls and TWO salt shakers or Dutch All Spice as we called it.

It was also a Dutch household.

Go online and you won’t find a lot of cookbooks of favorite dutch recipes.

Keep in mind the dutch hard candy, babbelaars.

One year when I was working at WZZM13 in Grand Rapids, Michigan, I wrote an anchor toss for the noon show to set up a live shot for our coverage of the Tulip Festival over in Holland, Michigan.

I said something along the lines of the Tulips are bright, the shoes are made of wood and the babbelaars are sweet …

The anchor read over her script and came to me and said, “BA BABEL LA lers?? HA WHA????”

I pronounced it BA BA LAARS and told her to trust me.

She said it on air but she wasn’t real comfortable with it.

On the other hand she was never real comfortable working with me since the time I was standing in the studio during the countdown to going live and I caught her eye and did the pulling-the-thumb-off-my-finger trick and she screamed as the show started.

The babbelaar is one of the best known Dutch candies.

And what is in it?

Sugar? Check!

Water? Check!

Butter? Check!

Vinegar? Vinegar!

The are pretty good, trust me.

Reading now Stanley Tucci’s Taste: My Life Though Food, I marvel over his families dedication to their cultural food history.

It must be a great thing, food wise, to have been italian.

We had spaghetti often.

And occasionally we would order a pizza as a late night treat but never for dinner.

Lunch was often SpaghettiOs or Chef Boyardee ravioli or my favorite, beef-a-roni.

All out of cans.

At the same time, my Mom watched The French Chef.

She would watch and laugh and laugh.

Her regular comment was along the lines that there had to be someone under the counter out of camera sweeping stuff out of way.

I think she would watch these things being created and then translate the recipe into feeding 10 or 12 people and that chip coated chicken looked much more realistic.

I would watch with my Mom.

I had an odd fascination with food.

A fascination with the concept of fine dining.

Once I took it upon myself to set the table for Sunday dinner.

I got out everything I could think of.

Salad forks and plates, folded napkins, butter knives and glasses for milk and water.

There was little room on our huge family table for food.

My Mom was sweet and commented how nice the table the looked.

My sisters demanded that I do all the extra dishes.

I loved reading about food as well.

The Hornblower Novels are about a British Naval Officer in the Napoleonic wars by CS Forester are a series of 11 novels.

In each novel, at least once, Forester will have a scene where a meal is described in great detail.

I read and reread all those scenes.

Jim Harrison’s romance with food, (See his essay, A Really Big Lunch) is an undercurrent in all of his writing.

And I enjoyed watched the French Chef with my Mom.

We would look at each and shake our heads or look at each other and say, wonder what that taste’s like.

The odd thing is that she often let ME try something we saw on the show.

Saturday was the big grocery day for my Mom.

I think she went every other day for various things but Saturday was the big day.

This was in the era of home milk delivery and with the size of our family, 10 half gallon cardboard cartons were delivered 3 days a week along with a stop for one last gallon after church on Sunday.

Somehow in the middle of this logistical nightmare of feeding everyone my Mom listened to my questions about cooking.

I was taught how to make scramble eggs of course and my favorite molasses cookies.

And every once in awhile, after watching something on the French Chef that caught our attention, my mom would pick up a few extra ingredients and we would make a Saturday lunch.

I remember a version of chicken cacciatore and a chicken breast in apple cider dish and Veal Scaloppini Marsala.

How did she find the time and energy to indulge this is beyond me.

What my brothers and sisters thought about this is also beyond me.

I was a little bit nuts so maybe they just included this as part the deal that I came with.

Speed and convenience, but deliciousness and the joy of creation.

That was my Mom.

I would watch her make pie.

She would get out her rolling cloth.

Lard, flour, salt and water and blueberries and then like a conjurers trick, now you see it, now you don’t, there was pie.

She cooked for all of us.

She cooked with me.

And we watched Julia Child together.