8.1.2026 – I was free of all

I was free of all
anxieties worries and
sorrows that belong

I was free.

I had recovered my liberty.

I belonged to God, not to myself: and to belong to Him is to be free, free of all the anxieties and worries and sorrows that belong to this earth, and the love of the things that are in it.

What was the difference between one place and another, one habit and another, if your life belonged to God, and if you placed yourself completely in His hands?

The only thing that mattered was the fact of the sacrifice, the essential dedication of one’s self, one’s will.

The rest was only accidental.

The Seven Storey Mountain by Thomas Merton (Harcourt, Brace and Company New York, 1948).

Wellllll, sorry, but I do not feel free.

I do not feel that I have recovered my liberty.

See, I have promises to keep.

And miles to go before I sleep.

I feel I could place myself completely in God’s hands, but the bills keep coming.

The rent has to be paid.

I understand that the only things that matters is the sacrifices of life, the essential dedication of one’ self and will.

But it is no accident that the mail keeps bringing those obligations.

But it is no accident that the texts keep bringing those requests.

It is no accident.

And I do not feel free.

Still it is a consummation devoutly to be wished.

Some someday.