words muddled effect on my mind seldom caused any afterthoughts
Adapted from, “There was no doubt that I had a fondness for books — especially old ones. But my reading was desultory and unassimilative. Words made a muddled effect on my mind while I was busy among them, and they seldom caused any afterthoughts. I esteemed my books mostly for their outsides. I admired old leather bindings, and my fancy was tickled by the thought of firelight flickering on dim gilt, autumn-coloured backs—rows and rows of them, and myself in an arm-chair musing on the pleasant names of Addison and Steele, Gibbon and Goldsmith. And what wonderful bargains were to be discovered in the catalogues of second-hand booksellers at Birmingham!”
In Memoirs of a Fox-hunting Man (The Memoirs of George Sherston #1) by Siegfried Sassoon, Doubleday, Doran & Company, Inc., 1928.
For me, words make a muddled effect on my mind while I am busy among them, and they often cause afterthoughts.
in a hat, drinking sherry, reading poems, dream long long dreams of youth
Daise Terry North Brookline, Maine 14 December, 1938
Dear Miss Terry
Would you have your office order me a copy of “Last Poems” by A. E. Housman?
I want to give it to Roger for Christmas.
He asked for Housman poems, a bottle of Amontillado, and a top hat.
I can only assume that he is going to sit around in the hat, drinking the sherry, reading the poems, and dreaming the long long dreams of youth.
Yr distant friend E. B. White
From the Letters of E.B. White by E. B. White, collected and edited by Dorothy Lobrano Guth, 1976, New York : Harper & Row.
I am still dreaming the long long dreams.
Maybe I am younger than I think.
Age loses some objectivity when you move to resort town.
Here where I live in Bluffton, SC, the median age is around 32 and I am far above that.
If I drive out on the Island where I work, the median age goes up to 60 and I am once again, middle aged.
It is a miracle of youth to rival anything found by Ponce de León and not controlled by Prestor John and I can get right back into the dreaming those long long dreams.
it is silly stuff that has some relevance with nothing happening
Erwitt downplayed his role as a photographer, often shrugging off pretension or chalking it up to happenstance: “It is silly stuff that I think has some relevance with nothing really important happening, but somehow being able to communicate some kind of fun,” he once said. There’s a lightness of touch that characterises even his most serious images, and he was a master of ironic juxtapositions and comic charm.
Erwitt worked into his 90s, and was ever practical about his art. “Photography is pretty simple stuff. You just react to what you see, and take many, many pictures,” he told the Guardian in 2020
these are tawny days bashful mornings hurl gray mist on stripes of sunrise
These are the tawny days your face comes back The grapes take on purple the sunsets redden early on the trellis. The bashful mornings hurl gray mist on the stripes of sunrise. Creep, silver on the field, the frost is welcome Run on, yellow halls on the hills, and you tawny pumpkin flowers, chasing your lines of orange Tawny days and your face again
Tawny by Carl Sandburg in his book, Smoke and Steel, New York: Harcourt, Brace and Co., (1920).
The website, https://www.vocabulary.com/, defines tawny as an adjective meaning of a light brown to brownish orange color; the color of tanned leather.
The online Merriam-Webster says that tawny is from the Middle English, from Anglo-French tané, tauné, literally, tanned, from past participle of tanner to tan and that the first recorded use of the word is from the 14th century.
The book of Genesis, Chapter 1, verses 2-5 state:
And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.
For myself, when the Bible reports he separated the light from the darkness, I think that God set up what we know as the planet earth and when he separated the light from the darkness, God gave the planet a push that started it in motion so that on the planet, day was separated from night by the rotation of the planet.
From that moment all laws of what we now know as physics came into play.
Neither here nor there, that means, for me anyway, that God had a timer running as the earth revolved on its axis and when the Bible reports “… the first day”, God knew just what he meant, but I digress.
Anyway, at the end of that first day, the light sank below the horizon and on the morning of the 2nd day the light came up.
I am betting that when that light came, it was a tawny day and anyone who might be there to see it would see thatthe bashful mornings hurl gray mist on the stripes of sunrise.
My wife is not fond of these sunrise pictures I take with my iPhone because she knows that to take them, I am driving one handed, with my other hand holding my iPhone as I cross the Cross Island Bridge on Hilton Head Island.
I know it’s goofy but what can one do?
We live in the low country and it is flat.
There are few views to be had anywhere.
The Cross Island Bridge is one of few places you can see anything of the area.
And, as Augustus McCrae said the book Lonesome Dove, “, and “…if he missed sunrise, he would have to wait out a long stretch of heat and dust before he got to see anything so pretty.”
Ms. Dunn writes that she was talking with her sister who is special-education teacher at an elementary school in upstate New York.
“What do you do when a kid is emotionally overwhelmed?” I asked. Many teachers at her school, she told me, ask students a simple question: Do you want to be helped, heard or hugged?
The choice gives children a sense of control, which is important when they’re following school rules all day, Heather said. “And all kids handle their emotions differently,” she explained. “Some need a box of tissues, or they want to talk about a problem on the bus, and I’ll just listen.”
It struck me that this question could be just as effective for adults.
The article got me to thinking because it sounded so good and so simple.
The part that reads:
Each option — an embrace, thoughtful but solicited advice or an empathetic ear — has the power to comfort and calm.
Receiving a hug from your partner increases levels of oxytocin, the bonding hormone, and helps dial down stress.
There’s evidence that being heard, known as “high-quality listening,” can reduce defensiveness during difficult and intimate conversations.
And some research suggests that couples who give each other supportive advice have higher relationship satisfaction.
Just makes so much sense.
But still something bothered me.
If we are talking about folks with whom we are in a close relationship with, shouldn’t I know the answer to the question before or without needing to ask?
Shouldn’t I know when someone close to me needs a hug, an ear, or advice?
Maybe …
Maybe not …
Ms. Dunn does write, “Now, when one of us is upset about something (if I’m honest, it’s usually me), the other will ask that question. It has been a game changer over the last few months. It clarifies needs. It de-escalates swirling emotions. It helps us take positive action.“
Maybe you need to set some ground rules about when to ask the question.
So I puzzled it someone and I realized something.
There are times when I myself am emotionally overwhelmed.
If someone asked me if I wanted to be helped, heard or hugged, I wouldn’t know what to say.
Anywhere from ALL THREE to AGGGGHHHHHH JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
Don’t get me wrong, Do you want to be helped, heard or hugged? is a great question to ask.
It helps us take positive action.
Do I want to be helped, heard or hugged? is just as good a question … and maybe the place to start.
