11.8.2021 – our history’s parts

our history’s parts
only way can be lost is
we choose to lose them

I am not sure when I became aware of the actor Stanley Tucci.

Much like Ward Bond and Thomas Mitchell, Mr. Tucci seems to have been in everything and nothing at the same time.

He is always there.

I am not sure when it was but I do recall looking him up to find out who he was, and I think this was back in the days of if you wanted to look up a movie you grabbed a paper back (possibly the thickest regularly sold paper book in the store) copy of ‘Leonard Maltin’s Movie Guide’, a copy of which was always laying around the TV in my house, and you looked up the movie and hoped you could figure out who was who from the short cast listing.

My Dad was a minor movie buff and he loved that book.

“4 stars for that?”, he would yell or “COME ON MIKE, it’s FOUR STARs with Clark Gable!”

He also loved to read the description of the 1962 remake of State Fair with Pat Boone, pause then yell, “BOMB.”

He would laugh and laugh.

It is amazing that back in the days of over the air three channel TV’s to remember how often movies were on TV.

TV shows cost money to make.

Movies were already made.

Television was flooded with movies.

The movies of the 40’s and 50’s.

The black and white era.

Every station had a block where an old movie could be run.

Bill Kennedy at the Movies from Detroit.

WGN’s Movie Night from Chicago.

My Dad also liked to listen to the CUBS on WGN radio from Chicago.

If there was a good movie on the night before, Lou Boudreau and Vince Lloyd would talk about it during the basbell game.

There wasn’t much else to watch and everybody watched the same thing.

Wait you say, if this is before cable TV, how did we watch WGN in Grand Rapids where we lived?

You caught me.

This didn’t happen in Grand Rapids.

We were one of those lucky family’s that had a summer place in Grand Haven, Michigan.

We lived right on the shore of Lake Michigan.

The first thing my Dad would do each spring was hook up a TV antenna high enough to pull in the stations from Chicago.

I watched the late movies from WGN all summer long.

If you watched old movies and you wanted more information the only source you had was that Leonard Maltin’s Movie Guide.

And at some point, I looked up Stanley Tucci.

I remember doing this as I can see the book in my hands and hear myself saying ‘Stanly Tuckee – touchi – ha whaaa??’.

If I look Mr. Tucci up in the Wikipedia and read through his list of movies or his ‘Filmography’ nothing really pops out at me until you get to The Big Night in 1996.

If you haven’t seen, it is worth the effort to pirate to watch and enjoy and hear about the dish called timpano.

Since the Big Night, Mr. Tucci, for me, entered into that ‘Ward Bond, Thomas Mitchell’ phase I mentioned and now he seems to be in everything and everywhere.

And Mr. Tucci has published a book.

Actually he has a couple of books to his credit but a new one has just come out.

When I worked in a bookstore nothing, well, almost nothing, made me more angry that anytime a celebrity would bank on their name and publish anything but a bio.

Bill and HILARY Clinton have now published novels.

Sports figures who I would figure could not construct a basic English sentence to save their lives have published novels.

OH COME ON.

Quite a few celebrities can get around this by publishing cookbooks but again, oh come on.

Is that something the world needs?

After 20 years of working for a book seller, library and publisher let me tell you about cookbooks.

Any cookbook with ONE, that’s right, ONE good recipe in it is a good cookbook.

99% of the cookbooks in the world are BAD cookbooks.

Now Mr. Tucci has published Taste, My Life Through Food.

This way its a bio and a cookbook.

And it is a delight.

Mr. Tucci can turn a sentence or at least he can with his editors help.

But the book has a secret ingredient.

Readers all know that part of the mystery of reading is how did the author intend to have this read.

What sounds, what phrasing, what and where are the pauses.

For the most part, each reader makes up their own mind.

For example, take Gollum in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

I have never been able to listen to any audio version of the Lord of the Rings because of the way Gollum is re-created.

One, the voice is nothing like what I imagined and I won’t waste my time.

Or, two, the voice is spot on and that is just tooooooooo creepy to be listened to..

And you never know when that Gollum will show up.

Plow your way through the book, “The Long Season: The Classic Inside Account of a Baseball Year” which is known for being one of the first, inside the locker room – tell it like it is – baseball books written back in 1959 and all of sudden the author-player tells how he went through a phase driving everyone nuts in the St. Louis Cardinals locker room by talking like Gollum.

“Has he got handses?”

“Can he hits baseballses?”

I pass over those film adaptations of Lord of the Rings except to say I really wish the filmmaker had taken the time to read the books as I am not sure what the movies were based on.

Another example is Charlotte’s Web.

If you like this book please try, just for a gift for yourself (let me know if you need it emailed to you) to find the audio version.

The audio version read by EB White.

There is a lot of magic and poetry in the sound of White’s voice and to hear his phrasing and pronunciation is the purest form of this book you can imagine.

Keep in mind that when the manuscript for Charlotte’s Web arrived at the publisher it needed NO editing of any kind.

So back to Mr. Tucci.

It must be because of his recent show on CNN that this works.

I watched that show with my wife and when I read his book, I can hear Mr. Tucci.

I can catch his phrashing and such.

Mr. Tucci also has one of those voices that is both distinct and yet doesn’t stand out except to say it is uncommonly common.

My reading of Taste: My Life Through Food is like listening to the audio version because I hear it in my head as I read.

Goofy I know but there it is.

I doubt I will try many of the recipes in the book at this time.

But I will read them.

I also will read about Mr. Tucci’s adventures growing up in America.

We are about the same age and I also can remember WANTING if not getting and eating a peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwich.

Also at this time I am spending a lot time thinking about food and families and culture and culture expressed through food and familys.

The Gullah Culture wants to presever its culture though food,

The Southern Foodways Alliance documents, studies, and celebrates the diverse food cultures of the changing American South.

Mr. Tucci sums this up in an E PLURIBUS UNUM on food when he writes:

Losing a beloved family heirloom is a very real personal loss;

they’re things that cannot ever be replaced or re-created.

But perhaps the most precious heirlooms are family recipes.

Like a physical heirloom, they remind us from whom and where we came and give others, in a bite, the story of another people from another place and another time.

Yet unlike a lost physical heirloom, recipes are a part of our history that can be re-created over and over again.

The only way they can be lost is if we choose to lose them.”

I want to eat it all.

My Mom’s Thanksgiving Stuffing Recipe … how it reads…
This is what the recipe says ….

10.25.2021 – things in our lifetime

things in our lifetime
almost everything has not
been invented yet

Tom Morey has died.

Mr. Morey was 86.

In my collection of Names What You Should Know, Tom Morey is listed under M for Morey and F for fun.

Is his obituary in the Guardian, it says, “The most significant person to get people in the water.

Tom Morey invented the boogie board.

Tom Morey invented the boogie board back in 1971.

Mr. Morey was a surfer who thought maybe surfing could be brought more into the world of the casual beach goer.

Sol Morey, Tom Morey’s oldest son is quoted as saying, “There’s this dynamic of toughness involved with surfing, but now you had grandads, kids, who could skim it.

They could stand up on it.

It was soft.

When you are able to go into the ocean and come out of it unscathed, unhurt, that really does something to you.

The ocean is something to be feared, but the Boogie Board took some of that fear out.

I live on the ocean now.

I understand it is something to be respected and feared and I respect and, well, kind of fear the ocean.

I swim so far out that my wife calls me ‘first course’ as the sharks will get me first.

I love the water.

I love to see people in the water.

That some one had to invent the boogie board, I see so many of them on the beach, never occured to me in my brain.

I would have thought that, had I thought that, that they had been invented by a Walmart Marketing team tasked with ‘What can we create that everyone will buy when on vacation with a price coming in around $20.”

To learn that they had been ‘invented’ was kind of cool.

To learn that they had been invented with the goal to get more people in the water and to take some of the fear of the water out of the equation was kind of freaking cool.

I have to look around and look at all sorts of every day things for the beach as well as the home and every day life and think who came up with that?

Then to think ahead.

What is coming next?

Putting Tom Morey into the Google for more information I came across another obit.

Another one I found in the University of Southern California (the west coast USC, the Unbelievable Spoiled Children one) Alumni News, that quoted Mr. Morey as saying, “Almost everything has not been invented yet.

Almost everything has not been invented yet.

As I seem to read everything I can lay my hands, I say that certain phrases and thoughts and combinations of words catch my eye and stop me for a second on that spot of text.

I have to say that, in my humble opinion, that phrase, almost everything has not been invented yet, is really kind of freaking pretty cool.

And when you add to the mix in your brain, that it was said by a guy who invented something with the purpose of making the ocean MORE fun, I again think, what is coming next.

I can look ahead.

It is not ALL bad.

Not all despair.

Not all covid.

Not all poltics.

There are boogie boards out there in all walks of life that are just waiting to be invented.

Maybe I’ll spray paint it on my wall.

Almost everything has not been invented yet.

I feel that I could be the next great inspirational speaker and deliver lectures at $100 a ticket and just tell the story of Mr. Morey and the boogie board.

I could wear shorts and a Hawaiian shirt and carry a boogie board on stage.

I would say, with dramatic pauses, “Almost everything … has NOT … been invented yet.”

I’d make millions.

Maybe I’ll come up with next boogie board.

Who knows who will?

I do know this.

Next time I am at the beach, I am bringing a couple of flowers or something and I am tossing them into the ocean.

And I am going to say thank you to Tom Morey.

10.19.2021 – where is humor bred

where is humor bred?
in the heart, in the head?
not on the google . . .

Whether you were aware of it or not, the Google has let it be known that the World has come to an end.

Maybe the World as I know it.

Maybe the World as I think it should be.

Maybe the World as I think that you should think that it should be.

Never the less, this World is ‘la fin’.

Let me explain.

I am the online guy for a company located in South Carolina.

Human Resources (just saying, that term always has me shaking my head … just what WAS wrong with personnel?) has never known what to call us web people.

We started out as Webmasters.

That is the term I prefer.

Back in the day it meant something.

It meant something to other webmasters.

It meant we did it all.

Coding, Server Admin, DNS, Images, Scripting, Hosting and Email and anything else that it took to create and manage a website.

I think today such a person is a Full Stack Developer.

But HR was never really comfortable with a job title with the word master in it.

As an aside, you want to freak out an HR rep, ask them for a job title that includes the word manager.

I have been Web Guy, Web Guru, Podfather, Digital Specialist and other things.

They have their language and I have mine.

As the company web guy one of my tasks is to keep up on what the Google is doing and make sure that the company website and web polices are not in any way working against Google.

This would be a lot easier if the Google themselves knew what they were doing.

You do what you can.

Some of the changes that affect everyone who uses the Google is how the SERP is put together.

You all use SERP’s everyday and I bet you didn’t know it.

SERP is the search engine results page or the page you land on once you enter a search term into the Google,

You may or may not have noticed the way the Google is changing their SERP.

Where there used to be a list of search results you now have paid ad position results, rich snippets, knowledge graphs and knowledge panels, the three pack and the image pack and a whole lot of other links.

These are all bits of information that the Google has decided may be helpful to you in your search for some piece of information online.

The Google wants to help.

Honest.

That is why the Google also added the SERP block titled, PEOPLE ALSO ASK.

The Google is all about what other people clicked on when duplicating your search.

The Google wants to help you by suggesting other possible searches if the results for your original search are not what you were searching for.

This is what brings me to todays haiku.

where is humor bred?
in the heart, in the head?
not on the google . . .

Recently I had reason to search the EXACT title of the Monty Python Movie, The Search for the Holy Grail.

The news of late has not been great has it?

Drought, Fire, Famine, Crime, Politics, Pestilence and Harry and Meghan all brings on the feeling that the World is rolling fast downhill.

As Minister Jim Hacker once said, “When things are going downhill we need someone to get in the drivers seat and step on the gas.”

Despite all the headlines of despair, it was my search for the EXACT title of the Monty Python Movie, The Search for the Holy Grail that shook my core to the core.

The apocalypse isn’t coming.

The apocalypse is here.

Let me show you why.

I typed in Monty Python and auto complete added ‘and the holy grail’ which I was comfortable with and I hit enter.

I got my SERP.

I looked at my SERP.

I looked again at my SERP.

I stared at my SERP.

I stared in horror, that cold-water-in-the-bath realization coming over me.

Did it really say that?

Did it really really say that.

I had just used the Google to search Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Simple enough.

The Google wanted to help.

The Google asked itself why I or anyone today might search Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Like I said, the Google wanted to help.

To help me and the world, anyone who might search Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the Google suggested searches BASED ON THE GOOGLE’S recorded global experiences of what other people were searching for.

Understand?

The Google TAILORS its search results based on what other people clicked on who entered the same search terms.

In other words, the Google, wants to be helpful, and the Google is saying, “Good Morning Searcher, we saw your search and we thought that these search terms might help in your search for knowledge on this subject.”

Notice I said KNOWLEDGE, not WISDOM.

The Google read my search and from that, the Google let me know what the other top questions were by searchers who had made the same search, which are listed for me under, PEOPLE ALSO ASK.

My search was Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

The three most asked questions by searches who also searched Monty Python and the Holy Grail, according to the Google are:

What is Monty Python and the Holy Grail making fun of?

Is Monty Python and the Holy Grail funny?

What is the point of Monty Python and the Holy Grail?

Yep.

Folks, friends and neighbors, forget about the World rolling downhill.

It has crashed into the ice berg.

There is no longer time for the lifeboats.

When the Google Search world at large asks, HAS TO ASK, “Is Monty Python and the Holy Grail funny?” it is all over.

The fat lady has sung.

Turn out the lights.

The party is over.

I don’t care if you know the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow or not, we are in trouble here and no kidding.

9.11.2021 – history calling

history calling
nine one one nine eleven
wake up hangover

Conspiracy theory or not, the fact that the numbers in 9/11 and 911 has to be one of the oddest, cruelest and yet most perfect coincidences in history.

For me, it supersedes the coincidence that the abbreviation for the United States is US.

E pluibus unum and all that all at once.

It has been 20 years since 9/11.

It was the great chronicler of the American Scene, Tom Wolfe, (About whom, William F. Buckley Jr., writing in National Review, said, “he can do more things with words than anyone else.”) who wrote that after the excesses of the 60’s, 70’s, 80’s and 90’s, the first two decades of the 21st century would be one massive hangover.

I am having trouble this morning tracking down the exact quote.

When I find it, I will update this essay.

I put it to you that the idea of a 20 year hangover starting in the year 2000 to be pitch perfect spot on for the way this century has started.

The idea that 9/11/2001 was the wake call has some worth to it.

That loud ringing phone wake up call when you start your day with a headachy hangover.

Now, 20 years later, maybe its time to get out of bed, rub our head, drink a glass of icy cold water then go for long walk on a 90 degree 90% humidity day and sweat it all out.

As Mr. Lincoln said, “As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.

It is not “can any of us imagine better?” but, “can we all do better?”

We must disenthrall ourselves, and then we shall save our country.

I just have to wonder, how did Mr. Lincoln get so smart?

9.10.2021 – nations building blocks

nations’ building blocks
maybe not what always thought
RIGHT on schedule

I have always wanted to be a history teacher.

Much like Fonzie in Happys Days when Fonzie said he wanted to be a cop because, “It was one of the few jobs that paid you to ride a motorcycle,” being a history teacher would let me have an audience and tell funny stories and get paid but without needing a cover charge or two drink minimum.

Lots of friends and family have told me I would have been a good history teacher and they would have taken my class.

I even had a professor tell me she would take my class.

Take my class for revenge, she said, but that’s another story.

Had I been a history teacher I would have said that from the beginning this nation, the United States of America was built upon the block that are the words Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence when Mr. Jefferson wrote, We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.

It has come to me during these recent events that I was wrong.

If I was teaching today I would have to say that this nation was built on the block of words that says, “No one is going to tell me what to do.”

Lets start back in the days of colonial settlement.

Who settled British North America?

Protestants.

PROTESTants.

People who weren’t happy with things, some of those things being religious based, in Britain.

But mainly, people who weren’t happy.

Crabby, unhappy people, who didn’t really like anyone or anything and when you came right down to it, people who didn’t want anyone to be able to tell them what to do.

Britain had a great response.

Don’t like it here?

Leave.

Oddly enough France took the exact opposite approach.

To apply for a visa or whatever you needed back in the 1700’s to leave France and move to Quebec, you had to be a good citizen, a good Catholic and support the King.

Louie the whatever sent off his good subjects and when the revolution happened it happened in France.

George got rid of the complainers and when the revolution happened, it happened in North America.

Those Protestants got here and started to protest.

The British went into New England.

What kind of British?

British PROTESTants.

The Dutch went into New Amsterdam.

What kind of Dutch?

Dutch PROTESTants.

The French, New France having been taken by old France, went into Savannah and Charleston.

What kind of French?

French Huguenot PROTESTants.

All a bunch of angry people, leaving there homeland in protest.

They all had a couple of things in common.

They were crabby.

The Indians had to go.

AND ….

No one was going to tell them what to do.

These people were here for a couple of hundred years and suddenly Great Britain asked them to pay taxes.

Seems that pushing those Indians out made the Indians kind of mad and Great Britain had to maintain forts along the frontier to protect the crabby colonists.

And those forts cost money.

It made sense to the Brits that those crabby colonists ought to help pay.

I think we all know how that turned out.

Taxes?

Taxes!

That hit those PROTESTants right where they lived.

Protests started.

Flags with snakes and the words, ‘Don’t Tread on Me’ came out.

Boston even had a tea party!

The tea party made the Brits so mad they closed the port of Boston.

Those crabby colonist called that what?

INTORABLE!

We aren’t going to tolerate that!

We aren’t going to stand for that!

No one is going to tell us what to do!

(Anything about this sound at all familiar?)

So the colonists began that great American tradition of board meetings and held a Continental Congress.

So much for manifest destiny I guess.

Like most board meetings it took two years for them to figure out what to do but an independent nation came about.

Not, as Mr. Lincoln said, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

But conceived in protest and dedicated to the proposition that no one is going to tell us what do.

With the country off and whining and with a win under their belts its no small wonder that we turned on ourselves.

Slavery for some was the ultimate in someone telling someone else what to do.

The south didn’t see it that way as they were ones telling someone else what to do.

But it just bit the north in the butt that those southerners were getting away with that.

And if slaves could be told what to do, it was just one short step or slip along the way to other people trying to tell the north what to do.

It was the thin of the wedge argument.

When it came to slavery, well sir, no one was going to tell the south what they could and could not do with their slaves.

This was the political question that dominated America for 60 years.

Folks got so worked over it that they would rather wreck the country as they knew it just so long as no one was going to tell them what to do.

The people in the south would rather leave then be told to give up slaves or give up their states rights to keep their slaves, depending on who you were talking to.

The north would just as soon let the south leave if they were going to keep their slaves.

‘Wayward Sisters – Go in Peace’, was the slogan of many in the north.

But along came possibly the single most unelectable candidate for President in history.

At least until Bill Clinton convinced Ross Perot to run in 1992 and take 20% of the Republican vote but I digress.

Abraham Lincoln, nominated as just the 2nd Presidential candidate by the young Republican party was guaranteed to lose.

Unless the Democrats, who outnumbered Republicans 2 to 1, did something really really dumb.

And so they did.

The Democrats split in half and Mr. Lincoln won and the country split in half but Mr. Lincoln said the country, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal, was bigger than any stupid argument.

Mr. Lincoln said it in such a way that all those crabby protesters looked a lot of stupid and they stuck their hands in their pockets and kicked the floor and said, ‘ah geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’ but they went along with Mr. Lincoln and put the country back together.

Somehow Mr. Lincoln had a way of saying stuff that made folks want to be less petty and to grow up and even get along for a bit.

Maybe appealing to “the better angels of our nature” did work.

But that didn’t make them like it.

Also there was now a history of letting the country go to pieces so long as no one told the people in the country what to do.

And that thought stayed there in the back of their minds.

And every once in awhile that thought comes back.

Those folks were always there.

The right.

The far right.

The reactionaries.

The thin end of the wedge – next thing they will be at the door – no one is going to tell me what to do far reactionary protesting right.

In the north, this group stayed in with the Republican party not that they liked that very much.

In the south, they stayed with the Democratic party and more or less figured out that as long they kept their mouths shut they could think and do what they wanted which they did.

Up north they fumed and sputtered anytime it looked like someone was going to tell them what to do.

When Theodore Roosevelt decided that the country missed him as President and tried to come back, there was a faction in the Republican Party that would rather lose then let TR tell them what to do and they lost.

The reactionary far right faction stuck with Big Bill Taft and lost and lost big in every way.

Neither here no there but President Taft once stood on the veranda of Kent Country Club and was heard to say, “What a tremendous view,” before he went in to lunch, but I digress.

Then came TR’s cousin Frank.

Frank loved telling everyone what to do.

And this reactionary far right faction hated Frank.

They tried everything and everyone they could to stop Frank until Frank finally died.

Frank had been President so long, an entire generation grew up thinking his first name was President.

Many historian’s feel that Frank was elected FIVE times.

It just happened that Harry Truman’s name was on the ballot the fifth time but Frank still won.

And that just burned up that reactionary far right faction.

The reactionary far right faction found a man in Robert Taft.

Robert Taft was Bill Taft’s son.

Robert Taft was known as Mr. Republican.

Robert Taft was crabby, didn’t like anyone and wasn’t going to let anyone tell him what to do.

The reactionary far right faction knew he should be their candidate but they also knew he couldn’t win.

They wanted to win so bad that they turned to man who beat Hitler.

They all liked IKE.

But Ike wasn’t one of them and a lot of the reactionary far right faction were not really happy with Ike.

Which was okay with Ike as he wasn’t really happy with most of the reactionary far right faction.

Ike was not the voice that the reactionary far right faction wanted to hear.

The reactionary far right faction found a voice in Joe McCarthy.

This is the feller who more or less lost his voice when he was quietly asked, “At long lost, sir, do you have no decency?”

(Isn’t this scary?)

Ike retired and the reactionary far right faction turned to his Vice President, Richard Nixon.

A card carrying member of the reactionary far right faction.

But JFK had better hair, a better tan and a cooler accent and he squeaked by Nixon in the 1960 election.

This really pissed off the reactionary far right faction and they proclaimed that the next time, come hell or high water, they would pick candidate.

It wasn’t hell or high water but LBJ who came along and the reactionary far right faction candidate, Barry Goldwater set a record for losing that would last until Walter Mondale.

As a side note, Barry had a great smile that my Mom loved and my little brother Pete ended up with Barry for a middle name.

This is really getting long so lets move along quickly.

Ronald Reagan is elected and he is calm enough and cool enough that the reactionary far right faction sits tight.

RR might not have been Lincoln but he could still get the reactionary far right faction to look a lot of stupid and stick their hands in their pockets and kick the floor and said, ‘ah geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee’ and behave for a bit.

Now we get 9/11 and that reactionary far right faction starts getting loud.

The pot is back on the stove so to speak.

The Tea Party shows up.

Loud mouthed voices taking up the cause of the reactionary far right faction are being heard louder and louder as social media and cell phones arrive on the scene.

Not only do we have access to news and misinformation 24×7, we also carry in OUR HANDS the means to access this information 24×7.

No more listening to the radio when a radio is available.

No more watching TV when we are in front of a TV.

But a mind blowing assault on our minds blown by the ourselves carrying the phones and internet access everywhere we go.

No opinion not expressed.

No thought not given to words.

No time given to think about what is being said.

That flag is back warning, “don’t tread on me.”

Terrorists.

Climate change.

Police.

Crime.

As if we are inside of circle of people with baseball bats and the people are taking a turn to smack us with the bat.

Then on top everything we get flu.

For some, the only thing that makes sense is to yell the words that should have been carved on the liberty bell.

No one is going to tell me what to do!

No one can tell us to get a shot.

No one can tell us to wear a mask.

We don’t care if it splits the country.

We don’t care.

No one is going to tell us what to do.

No one is going to tell me what to do.

Me!

Well, I can understand.

I can sympathize.

It’s who we are.

Aristotle once said, or at least is credited with saying, “No democracy can exist unless each of its citizens is as capable of outrage at injustice to another as he is of outrage at injustice to himself.”

The sad part are the words, “No democracy can exist … “

We are RIGHT on schedule.