October 29 – every day, each drive

every day, each drive
story sparkingly renewed
new chapter added

Mark Twain wrote of life on the Mississippi River, saying “There were graceful curves, reflected images, woody heights, soft distances; and over the whole scene, far and near, the dissolving lights drifted steadily, enriching it, every passing moment, with new marvels of coloring. I stood like one bewitched. I drank it in, in a speechless rapture. The world was new to me, and I had never seen anything like this at home.

I was struck this morning by the comparison of Twain’s river and my driving on i85.

There is an odd, industrial age, dystopian (been wanting to use that word for ages), Fritz Langish, beauty to all the cars and trucks and concrete.

I also have learned to ‘read the river’ on my drives.

Catching the glimpse of the cobalt blue emergency strobes sets off warnings.

A sign that says Chamblee-Tucker Road 9 Miles / 20 minutes translates instantly to traffic moving at 30 miles per hour.

Break lights 10 cars ahead has me slowing down.

Twain continues, “The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book — a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day. Throughout the long twelve hundred miles there was never a page that was void of interest, never one that you could leave unread without loss, never one that you would want to skip, thinking you could find higher enjoyment in some other thing. There never was so wonderful a book written by man; never one whose interest was so absorbing, so unflagging, so sparkingly renewed with every reperusal. The passenger who could not read it was charmed with a peculiar sort of faint dimple on its surface (on the rare occasions when he did not overlook it altogether); but to the pilot that was an italicized passage; indeed, it was more than that, it was a legend of the largest capitals, with a string of shouting exclamation points at the end of it; for it meant that a wreck or a rock was buried there that could tear the life out of the strongest vessel that ever floated. It is the faintest and simplest expression the water ever makes, and the most hideous to a pilot’s eye. In truth, the passenger who could not read this book saw nothing but all manner of pretty pictures in it painted by the sun and shaded by the clouds, whereas to the trained eye these were not pictures at all, but the grimmest and most dead-earnest of reading-matter.”

October 28 – to live all my days

to live all my days
sedentary existence
uneventful goal

An off comment I picked up while watching a football game this weekend brought my time in college back to mind.

When I was in college I hoped to graduate and get a job in a research library or historical institution and live out my days in a sedentary existence.

Buried in research.

Buried in books.

Buried in old facts and thoughts that no one in their right mind would ever want to think about.

Spent the weekend with my grand daughters.

My son Jackie woke me up at 2AM to tell me his car had been broken into and the side window smashed.

Oh, and Jackie told me a friend of his from work would be crashing overnight on our sofa.

Went with my wife to the Braselton Antique and Craft fair.

Went to Church.

Dealt with work problems.

Cooked Sunday dinner.

Busy.

Better then buried.

Buried would have been pretty boring.

October 25 – cautionary tales

cautionary tales
run and tell the king, again
sky falls, persevere

“I wore this frock coat in Washington, before the war. We wore them because we belonged to the five civilized tribes. We dressed ourselves up like Abraham Lincoln. We only got to see the Secretary of the Interior, and he said: “Boy! You boys sure look civilized.!” he congratulated us and gave us medals for looking so civilized. We told him about how our land had been stolen and our people were dying. When we finished he shook our hands and said, “endeavor to persevere!” They stood us in a line: John Jumper, Chili McIntosh, Buffalo Hump, Jim Buckmark, and me — I am Lone Watie. They took our pictures. And the newspapers said, “Indians vow to endeavor to persevere.” We thought about it for a long time, “Endeavor to persevere.” And when we had thought about it long enough, we declared war on the Union.”

Lone Watie from the movie, The Outlaw Josey Wales

Driving to work and reviewing the week at large, my heart files with bitterness.

My soul is filled with bile.

Fed up.

Not going to take it anymore.

Just plain angry with humans and lack of humanity.

I sit down and power up my computers and the radio from London is playing Beethoven’s Violin Concerto. (Violin concerto in D major, Opus 61).

Faith, maybe not reborn or rekindled but somewhat tempered.

There yet are reasons to stand.

Persevere.

October 24 – thinnest of margins

thinnest of margins
my life didn’t change today
whale ropes, driving

Driving home on I85 in Gwinnett County, Georgia, I made the simplest of lane changes.

Going to my left with the car in front moving at my same speed, I checked my left side view mirror and glanced at my rear view mirror and started to merge slowly into the next lane.

I looked up and the car in front had stopped, most unexpectedly.

Instead of a smooth, gradual slide to the left, I jerked the steering wheel and the car swerved hard to left.

I reversed the wheel to the right and straightened out in my new lane, moving past the stopped car that had been in front of me.

It had to have been all by instinct.

They say that the time it takes for a batter to decide to swing at a baseball is longer than it takes for a pitched ball to travel 60 feet 6 inches.

Baseball is a game of inches.

I doubt there was room for a folded over piece of paper between my right front bumper and that car’s left rear corner.

A whisker.

A hair breadth.

And I was on my way home.

The driver of the car in front of me was on their home.

No accident.

No stopping of rush hour traffic.

No exchange of paper work.

No waiting for cops to determine who was at fault.

Nothing.

Nothing worse than a bad scare.

The scare was bad enough.

It was several minutes before I could relax and say a quick prayer of thanks.

I have been in an accident where the margin went the other way and the car coming up from behind me barely clipped my bumper and both cars were badly damaged though no one was hurt.

At least once a week, I see worse.

Much worse.

In Moby Dick, Herman Melville writes, “but it is only when caught in the swift, sudden turn of death, that mortals realize the silent, subtle, ever-present perils of life.”

Melville is commenting in his passage that describes the rope known as a ‘whale line’ the work of the men in a small boat going after whales.

He writes, ” when the line is darting out, to be seated then in the boat, is like being seated in the midst of the manifold whizzings of a steam-engine in full play, when every flying beam, and shaft, and wheel, is grazing you.”

But whaling and whale ropes?

I was driving a car, something un-imagined by Melville.

Maybe Melville couldn’t imagine a car but he knew life and he writes,

All men live enveloped in whale-lines.”