5.10.2020 – our mom, grace, pressure

our mom, grace, pressure
never failed to surprise
song in key of life

Being Mother’s Day, there will be lots of tributes to Moms.

Lots of fond memories remembered.

Talking about our Mom, just to point out that she raised me would be tribute alone.

Those who grew up around me will understand.

But she also raised 10 other kids at the same time.

My Mom used to point out that she did not remember the Vietnam War.

She knew it was going on and such but otherwise she was too busy.

Lots of people have fond memories about my Mom.

She was universally loved, respected and dare I say, admired.

She was full of grace.

She rolled with the pressure.

She was also full of surprises.

One day, I came home from school.

This was in 1976.

My brother Pete was sitting at the counter in the kitchen.

Laying on the table was a copy of Stevie Wonder’s latest album, “Songs in the Key of Life.”

Unwrapped.

“Who bought this?” I asked.

I picked the album up thinking greedy thoughts.

Any new records in our family became community property.

Pete turned around and looked at me.

“Mom did.”

I think I just stared at Pete.

Pete just stared back.

Then we went downstairs to where the stereo was and played it.

After seeing Stevie Wonder being interviewed on TV about his latest album, Mom got in her car and drove to Musicland in North Kent Mall and bought a copy.

She told us later, she thought Stevie was interesting and worth listening to.

We listened to it a lot.

Not sure how many times Mom listened to it.

But that didn’t matter so much as it was so freaking cool that our Mom would go out, on her own, and buy Stevie Wonder records.

In my heart, I imagined her at a Ladies Missionary Society meeting at our church, Berean Baptist in Grand Rapids.

This was a church were a Missionary from Africa reported, “The beat of the voodoo drums is much like the rhythms in today’s rock and roll.”

I imagined Mom sitting a circle ladies, discussing the days events.

And I can hear my Mom say, “Have you heard Stevie Wonder’s latest? I just bought “Songs in the Key Life.”

I wouldn’t be surprised.

As our Mom was full of surprises.

She was our song in the key of life.

5.4.2020 – enjoy the floating

enjoy the floating
don’t swim in uncertainty
seek life, not life style

If you are from Michigan, you love the Great Lakes.

You love the Lakes even though they are filled with water from melted snow and ice.

From their beginning when gouged out of the earth by glaciers, they were filled with melt water.

They are cold.

As my brother Peter called, ‘aching cold.’

You got in the water on cold days and your feet felt numb.

Soon they would start to ache.

But we were hardy Michiganders (or Michiganiacs) and into the water we went.

The State if Michigan Dept of Transportation thinks that one of the reasons there have been so few suicide jumps from the Mackinaw Bridge is that the water is too cold.

Doesn’t make much sense and then, on the other hand, it does.

Who really wants to jump into ice cold water?

The water in the Great Lakes is also fresh water.

The greatest single source of freshwater in the world.

30% of all the freshwater in the world in on spot.

LAKE MICHIGAN – No Salt Added says on T Shirt I saw on a relative of mine lately.

I have swam in Lake Michigan all my life.

I swim as well as I can but I don’t seem to be able to stay out too long.

Then I moved south.

Then I discovered swimming in salt water.

In the Atlantic Ocean, I could float.

I was buoyant.

Last summer I swam out past the breakers and then back to beach and my wife asks if I saw the dolphins?

Dolphins?

I was swimming with the dolphins and without my glasses, never knew it.

I can swim and float in salt water much better than I can swim and float in fresh water.

And the water IS WARM.

I have to admit.

I love it.

Even with the jelly fish.

I managed to avoid those as well.

Thinking about swimming and floating got me thinking about other things as well.

This recent stay at home crisis has changed a lot things about our lives.

There has been a huge hit on everyone’s lifestyle.

Does there have to be a big hit on how we live?

I got to thinking about a famous letter that Hunter Thompson wrote to friend which I copy here:

April 22, 1958
57 Perry Street
New York City

Dear Hume,

You ask advice: ah, what a very human and very dangerous thing to do! For to give advice to a man who asks what to do with his life implies something very close to egomania. To presume to point a man to the right and ultimate goal— to point with a trembling finger in the RIGHT direction is something only a fool would take upon himself.

I am not a fool, but I respect your sincerity in asking my advice. I ask you though, in listening to what I say, to remember that all advice can only be a product of the man who gives it. What is truth to one may be disaster to another. I do not see life through your eyes, nor you through mine. If I were to attempt to give you specific advice, it would be too much like the blind leading the blind.

“To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles … ” (Shakespeare)

And indeed, that IS the question: whether to float with the tide, or to swim for a goal. It is a choice we must all make consciously or unconsciously at one time in our lives. So few people understand this! Think of any decision you’ve ever made which had a bearing on your future: I may be wrong, but I don’t see how it could have been anything but a choice however indirect— between the two things I’ve mentioned: the floating or the swimming.

But why not float if you have no goal? That is another question. It is unquestionably better to enjoy the floating than to swim in uncertainty. So how does a man find a goal? Not a castle in the stars, but a real and tangible thing. How can a man be sure he’s not after the “big rock candy mountain,” the enticing sugar-candy goal that has little taste and no substance?

The answer— and, in a sense, the tragedy of life— is that we seek to understand the goal and not the man. We set up a goal which demands of us certain things: and we do these things. We adjust to the demands of a concept which CANNOT be valid. When you were young, let us say that you wanted to be a fireman. I feel reasonably safe in saying that you no longer want to be a fireman. Why? Because your perspective has changed. It’s not the fireman who has changed, but you. Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes. This goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning process; every significant experience alters your perspective.

So it would seem foolish, would it not, to adjust our lives to the demands of a goal we see from a different angle every day? How could we ever hope to accomplish anything other than galloping neurosis?

The answer, then, must not deal with goals at all, or not with tangible goals, anyway. It would take reams of paper to develop this subject to fulfillment. God only knows how many books have been written on “the meaning of man” and that sort of thing, and god only knows how many people have pondered the subject. (I use the term “god only knows” purely as an expression.) There’s very little sense in my trying to give it up to you in the proverbial nutshell, because I’m the first to admit my absolute lack of qualifications for reducing the meaning of life to one or two paragraphs.

I’m going to steer clear of the word “existentialism,” but you might keep it in mind as a key of sorts. You might also try something called Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre, and another little thing called Existentialism: From Dostoyevsky to Sartre. These are merely suggestions. If you’re genuinely satisfied with what you are and what you’re doing, then give those books a wide berth. (Let sleeping dogs lie.) But back to the answer. As I said, to put our faith in tangible goals would seem to be, at best, unwise. So we do not strive to be firemen, we do not strive to be bankers, nor policemen, nor doctors. WE STRIVE TO BE OURSELVES.

But don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean that we can’t BE firemen, bankers, or doctors— but that we must make the goal conform to the individual, rather than make the individual conform to the goal. In every man, heredity and environment have combined to produce a creature of certain abilities and desires— including a deeply ingrained need to function in such a way that his life will be MEANINGFUL. A man has to BE something; he has to matter.

As I see it then, the formula runs something like this: a man must choose a path which will let his ABILITIES function at maximum efficiency toward the gratification of his DESIRES. In doing this, he is fulfilling a need (giving himself identity by functioning in a set pattern toward a set goal), he avoids frustrating his potential (choosing a path which puts no limit on his self-development), and he avoids the terror of seeing his goal wilt or lose its charm as he draws closer to it (rather than bending himself to meet the demands of that which he seeks, he has bent his goal to conform to his own abilities and desires).

In short, he has not dedicated his life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but he has rather chosen a way of life he KNOWS he will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the functioning toward the goal which is important. And it seems almost ridiculous to say that a man MUST function in a pattern of his own choosing; for to let another man define your own goals is to give up one of the most meaningful aspects of life— the definitive act of will which makes a man an individual.

Let’s assume that you think you have a choice of eight paths to follow (all pre-defined paths, of course). And let’s assume that you can’t see any real purpose in any of the eight. THEN— and here is the essence of all I’ve said— you MUST FIND A NINTH PATH.

Naturally, it isn’t as easy as it sounds. You’ve lived a relatively narrow life, a vertical rather than a horizontal existence. So it isn’t any too difficult to understand why you seem to feel the way you do. But a man who procrastinates in his CHOOSING will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.

So if you now number yourself among the disenchanted, then you have no choice but to accept things as they are, or to seriously seek something else. But beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life. But you say, “I don’t know where to look; I don’t know what to look for.”

And there’s the crux. Is it worth giving up what I have to look for something better? I don’t know— is it? Who can make that decision but you? But even by DECIDING TO LOOK, you go a long way toward making the choice.

If I don’t call this to a halt, I’m going to find myself writing a book. I hope it’s not as confusing as it looks at first glance. Keep in mind, of course, that this is MY WAY of looking at things. I happen to think that it’s pretty generally applicable, but you may not. Each of us has to create our own credo— this merely happens to be mine.

If any part of it doesn’t seem to make sense, by all means call it to my attention. I’m not trying to send you out “on the road” in search of Valhalla, but merely pointing out that it is not necessary to accept the choices handed down to you by life as you know it. There is more to it than that— no one HAS to do something he doesn’t want to do for the rest of his life. But then again, if that’s what you wind up doing, by all means convince yourself that you HAD to do it. You’ll have lots of company.

And that’s it for now. Until I hear from you again, I remain,

your friend,
Hunter

It is unquestionably better to enjoy the floating than to swim in uncertainty. So how does a man find a goal?

I profess to be a Christian.

A born again Christian.

I have accepted the Gift of Grace through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

Which should mean at least, a huge chunk of uncertainty has been removed from my life.

I am going to embrace that I am going to float.

I am going to float and see how this turns out.

5.3.2020 – be joyful in hope

be joyful in hope
and patient in affliction
faithful in prayer

Joyful?

Trying.

Patient?

Trying.

Faithful?

Trying.

Affliction?

More than I can count.

More than I want to think about.

Prayer?

Sometimes I feel like I am praying every minute.

Prayers of petition.

Our Daily Bread.

Prayers of Praise.

Thinking of Christopher Wren’s carving in St. Paul’s Church in London that reads, LECTOR SI MONUMENTUM REQUIRIS CIRCUMSPICE or Reader, if you seek his monument – look around you.

Look around and can I not praise God.

Prayers of Blessing and Adoration?

How can I not?

Prayers of Thanksgiving?

Don’t have to be a rocket scientist to understand I got it pretty good in this world and I am thankful.

Prayers of Intercession?

Intercession?

Constantly.

For others and for myself.

Hope?

Lots of hope.

Lots of hopes.

As Red says in Shawshank Redemption, Hope? Let me tell you something, my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane. It’s got no use on the inside. You’d better get used to that idea.

But what do I hope for?

If I rub the lamp and a Genie pops out and I get one wish and it has to be something just for me.

No world peace or end of hunger or end of green house gases.

Something just for me.

Gosh.

Could I sleep through the night again?

I can hope.

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Romans 12:12 NIV

5.2.2020 – need a solution

need a solution
to a problem, first admit
there is a problem

The United States of America is a big country.

For every 1000 residents, you will have 1000 opinions and points of view that have a right to be heard.

It is difficult to achieve a consensus let alone unanimity on any topic.

It takes a lot to change peoples minds.

Back in May of 1941, a nationwide poll showed that 80% of Americans were against getting involved in World War 2.

On December 8, 1941, the day after the attack on Pearl Harbor, FDR’s request for a declaration of war against JAPAN passed with one NO vote.

Note this was a war against the Empire of Japan.

The United States did NOT declare war on Germany.

Germany, so far, had not done anything to the United States.

The US got into the European war at that time only because Hitler declared war on the United States on December 8th.

I would have put this current emergency up there.

While I would not expect that everyone could agree on how to handle Covid, I would have thought there was agreement that we need to do something.

Silly me.

But then I would have bet my last dollar that it was against the law to carry an M16 into the State Capitol Building in Lansing, Michigan.

In my nuttiest, most US Constitution embracing moment, I never would have thought that the 1st Amendment right to assembly would have given me the right to stand face to face with the Michigan State Police while carrying a loaded assault rifle in the rotunda of the State Capitol.

I just can’t imagine it.

I want to stay away from that argument and focus on the mindset.

As Atticus Finch famously says in “To Kill a Mockingbird“, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… until you climb in his skin and walk around in it.”

Let me try to get into the shoes of those protestors in Lansing.

I am thinking of one feller who was captured on the network news, standing face to face with a Michigan State Police Trooper, and screaming something.

There was no audio so I don’t know what he was screaming.

But this feller woke up that morning.

Got dressed in his camouflage so he wouldn’t stand out, I guess.

Got his coffee and his rifle and drove to Lansing to defend his rights.

Not exactly the Lexington Minute Men gathering on the village green to confront the redcoats but close enough in his mind.

Our feller parks his car and gets out and assembles with his fellow countrymen outside the Capitol Building.

At some command or order or maybe just a mass rush, the assembly moves into the building and our feller finds himself in the front row.

The next thing he knows, he is in the Rotunda of the Capitol, surrounded both by his buddies but also by glassed cabinets of flags that circle the Rotunda.

Flags of the volunteer regiments of the State of Michigan that decided Black Lives Matter and that the Union was worth preserving and marched off to the Civil War.

One of those flags is the flag of the 16th Michigan Volunteer Infantry.

A member of Company C of that Regiment was 18 year old, Edwin Barlow.

Private Barlow was my Great-Great Grand Father.

Back to our feller, who is now explaining to the State Trooper why he and his friends are there and what they want.

Feller seems to be quite agitated and explaining himself very loudly.

The Troopers don’t move or react.

The Troopers don’t arrest anyone.

Though, like I said, I would have bet my last dollar it was a crime to bring a loaded AK-47 into the State Capitol or engage a State Trooper while carrying a loaded AK-47 but that is beside the point.

After a bit our feller leaves with his buddies.

After exchanging farewells with the assembly our feller goes back to his car and drives home.

He gets home and hangs his rifle over the fireplace.

He goes to the fridge and gets a beer.

Does his wife greet him with a hug and a ‘Good Job Honey’ hug?

Does he sit in his rocker or his lazy-boy and review the day?

Does he feel satisfaction in delivering his message to the man.

Does he feel like he delivered his message that we are fed up and can’t take it anymore?

I am trying to follow Mr. Finch and understand a person by considering things from his point of view,

I am trying to climb into his skin and walk around in it.

I am trying to understand why I don’t want to wear a mask.

I am trying to understand why I don’t want to stay home.

I am trying to understand why I don’t want to protect myself, my family and other people by not risking the spread if this illness.

Or am I missing it?

Am I the problem here that I don’t feel threatened by my Government as they bass ackwards try to figure all this out.

Am I deluded by the bread and circuses.

Maybe.

But I just can’t get comfortable in that feller’s shoes up in Lansing.

I often refer to problems as Charlie Sheen problems.

The 1st problem Charlie Sheen needs to deal with is that Charlie has to admit he has a problem.

If he doesn’t see a life focused on drugs and alcohol as a problem, then there is nothing to be fixed.

What is the problem right now?

What is the biggest problem?

That’s my problem.

5.1.2020 – collectively we

collectively we
endure as one but with our
own experience

Concerned about my feelings of anxiety, a friend sent me a link to an article titled, Why ARE we so exhausted during lockdown?” written by By Hayley Richardson For The Daily Mail.

Ms. Richardson writes, “The end of the week usually brings about that ‘Friday feeling’, but for many of us in lockdown each day currently feels like it’s merging into the next.

If you’re not a key worker right now and are working from home, or have been furloughed from your job, you may have found yourself with a great deal more time on your hands.

No commuting and zero socialising – bar the odd call on Zoom – should mean we all feel more relaxed than we usually do in our normal, busy day-to-day lives.

But many people on social media are complaining of feeling unusually tired and lacking in energy and motivation for anything that requires more than getting off their sofas.

The writer brings up the Kubler Ross Change Curve, based on the Kubler Ross 5 Stages of Death.

The stages of change are, Shock, Denial, Frustration. Depression, Understanding, Acceptance and Moving On.

She makes the point, and this is KEY, the curve is very much an individual process and an emotionally led one, too.

Its impact on a personal change journey is just as, if not more, relevant and the Covid-19 threat has plunged us all into one of the greatest change curves ever experienced.

‘Understanding where you might be on the change curve is key – and even more critical is recognizing that you will experience it differently to those around you.’

So where am I on the change curve?

Shocked?

That the whole world has shut down due to flu?

YES!

Denial?

Do I think it WILL NOT HAPPEN TO ME?

YES!

Frustrated?

Not enough time to answer this so leave it at YES!

Depressed?

Another one there is not enough time to answer and besides it would be so depressing so lets just say, YES!

Understanding?

Trying to.

Accepting?

Is there really anything else I can do?

Moving on?

CAN’T WAIT.

Here is my problem, I am at many of the different points of the curve at the same time.

Well, guess what?

Ms. Richardson says that is common as everyone goes through this at their own pace.

So there were are.

All in this together seperately.

Collectively alone.

It is Friday.

It may not be the best thing for me but I am going to get me a beer, to quote Elizabeth Warren and listen to a song.

What song?

Today I nominate this one for everyone.

It is one of my favorites with Hoffman Slides thrown into the show.

Pokarekare Ana sung by ukulenny in New Zealand.

Maori

Pōkarekare ana,
ngā wai o Waiapu
Whiti atu koe hine,
marino ana e.

Refrain

E hine e,
hoki mai ra.
Ka mate ahau
I te aroha e.

Tuhituhi taku reta,
tuku atu taku rīngi,
Kia kite tō iwi
raru raru ana e.

Refrain

English

They are agitated,
the waters of Waiapu,
But when you cross over girl,
they will be calm.

Oh girl,
return to me,
I could die
of love for you.

They are agitated,
the waters of Waiapu,
But when you cross over girl,
they will be calm.

“Pokarekare Ana” is a traditional New Zealand love song, probably communally composed about the time World War I began in 1914. The song is written in Māori and has been translated into English. It enjoys widespread popularity in New Zealand as well as some popularity in other countries.