6.17.2020 – help me find my dream

help me find my dream
shatter darkness, smash this night
shadows into light

From the poem, As I Grew Older, by Langston Hughes

It was a long time ago.
I have almost forgotten my dream.
But it was there then,
In front of me,
Bright like a sun —
My dream.
And then the wall rose,
Rose slowly,
Slowly,
Between me and my dream.
Rose until it touched the sky—
The wall.
Shadow.
I am black.
I lie down in the shadow.
No longer the light of my dream before me,
Above me.
Only the thick wall.
Only the shadow.
My hands!
My dark hands!
Break through the wall!
Find my dream!
Help me to shatter this darkness,
To smash this night,
To break this shadow
Into a thousand lights of sun,
Into a thousand whirling dreams
Of sun!

6.16.202 – no difficulty

no difficulty
believe what is comforting
and find convenient

Who does not want to believe in what is comforting and what is found to be convenient?

I do have a specific group in mind.

Please read this short statement.

Is it an accurate statement?

It should not be thought that the Presidential party line is necessarily disingenuous and insincere on part of all those who put it forward.

Many of them are too ignorant of outside world and mentally too dependent to question self-hypnotism, and who have no difficulty making themselves believe what they find it comforting and convenient to believe.

There is an the unsolved mystery as to who, if anyone, in this administration actually receives accurate and unbiased information about outside world.

In atmosphere of oriental secretiveness and conspiracy which pervades this Government, possibilities for distorting or poisoning sources and currents of information are infinite.

The very disrespect of the President for objective truth–indeed, his disbelief in its existence–leads them to view all stated facts as instruments for furtherance of one ulterior purpose or another.

I wish I could say I wrote it.

It is a very famous bit of writing.

I also wish I could say it was written about the current Administration in Washington.

Except for a few words, it was written by George F. Kennan when he was serving as Chargé d’Affaires of the U.S. Embassy in Moscow in 1946.

Mr. Kennan was asked by the United States Treasury why the Soviets were not supporting the newly created World Bank.

In Mr. Kennan replied with an 8,000 to 10,000 word cable gram explaining the Soviet Union.

I was taught back in college, that Mr. Kennan said, “They asked for it, they are going to get.”

Mr. Kennan’s cablegram became known as the LONG TELEGRAM or the X TELEGRAM.

And played a role in much of the Foreign Policy of the United States for years and years afterwords.

When Mr. Kennan wrote the words I posted above, he was not refering to the President and his administration.

Mr. Kennan was referring to the Soviet Union in general and Joseph Stalin in particular.

I struck by how changing just a few names the thoughts fit.

And if the shoe fits …

6.15.2020 – A free Government

A free Government
command respect of the world
be exemplified!

Taken from the 1st Inaugural Address of George Washington.

President Washington said, “By the article establishing the Executive Department, it is made the duty of the President “to recommend to your consideration, such measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient.” The circumstances under which I now meet you, will acquit me from entering into that subject, farther than to refer to the Great Constitutional Charter under which you are assembled; and which, in defining your powers, designates the objects to which your attention is to be given. It will be more consistent with those circumstances, and far more congenial with the feelings which actuate me, to substitute, in place of a recommendation of particular measures, the tribute that is due to the talents, the rectitude, and the patriotism which adorn the characters selected to devise and adopt them. In these honorable qualifications, I behold the surest pledges, that as on one side, no local prejudices, or attachments; no seperate views, nor party animosities, will misdirect the comprehensive and equal eye which ought to watch over this great assemblage of communities and interests: so, on another, that the foundations of our National policy will be laid in the pure and immutable principles of private morality; and the pre-eminence of a free Government, be exemplified by all the attributes which can win the affections of its Citizens, and command the respect of the world.

I like President Washington.

I like President Washington a lot.

But, by george, from this distance, did he have make it look so easy.

How did we get from President Washington to “Is it possible that a president who has spent four years lying to the American people now assumes that everyone is lying? Or can he simply no longer distinguish between fact and fiction, between conspiracy theories spread by fringe “news” outlets such as the One America News Network and observable reality? What sane human being could imagine that America wanted to hear that George Floyd was smiling down from heaven at the day’s modestly improved job reports?“, as written in today’s Guardian in the opinion piece, “The gap between Trump’s world and reality is widening. It’s disturbing to watch” by Francine Prose, a former president of PEN American Center and a member of the American Academy of Arts and Letters and the American Academy of Arts and Sciences.

Oh, woe is US.

I have to admit I think the use of the lower case p here is on purpose.

I endorse such a measure.

6.14.2020 – God’s curiosity

God’s curiosity
about Himself resulted
in what we call us

Last night my wife and I watched the protests in Downtown Atlanta of another police shooting of a black man.

Protesters had managed to line up across a stretch of one of the busiest freeway in United States.

A Wendy’s Restaurant where the shooting took place went up in flames.

Rather than turning up the volume on the protest, my friend and reporter for 11Alive Doug Richards, who was on the scene, said that the fire more of less was freaking out the protesters and they ran for cover.

Talking with my wife as the next day, she asked me, why did God create these differences?

These differences in skin color and size and language.

“Was it to test us?”, she asked.

I was quick to say yes.

God wanted to see how we might handle these differences.

God wanted to see if we would react with fear or confidence.

My wife pointed out that the problems went back, all the way back.

Before the Tower of Babel.

What differences where there, on the surface, between Caine and Able.

Yet Caine hated Abel.

So God knew how we would handle the differences if skin color and language and how to serve food and sing songs.

Not well and God knew it.

So why?

In my reading today, my interest was sparked by the comment about another author, that he wanted to live long enough (this was an old comment) so that Thomas Mann could finish the last book of Joseph and His Brothers.

I don’t know anything about this book except that it has been selected as my summer time read.

I did find this one quote though that intrigued.

“Man, then was a result of God’s curiosity about Himself”, wrote Mr. Mann.

Maybe that is the reason for all the differences.

God creates man.

God creates forgiveness.

God creates salvation.

Maybe God was curious if these new creations had limits.

Maybe God saw the easiest way to test these new creations was to add to man easy avenues to differences.

Would man react with fear or confidence.

And would the new creations be sufficient for these reaction’s.

I am not dumb enough to say this is the answer.

I am willing to consider it.

And I am willing to put forward a possible response by God.

I am reminded of an anecdote told by the veteran actor of film and stage, Rex Harrison.

Mr. Harrison was on Johnny Carson or maybe an the old Dick Cavett show, but he told a story of how he was in London, rehearsing a play by George Bernard Shaw.

Sorry to say I cannot recall or Mr. Harrison did not name the play.

ANYWAY, Mr. Harrison and the other cast members were having problems with one scene.

The could not, they felt, get it right.

What was the Mr. Shaw after the cast wondered?

No one could agree on anything except that whatever they were trying to do just did not work on stage.

Then, wonder of wonder, George Bernard Shaw himself came by to watch the rehearsal.

Mr. Harrison and the cast called to him and brought him up on stage.

WHAT DID YOU MEAN and WHERE WERE YOU GOING in this scene, they asked.

Mr. Shaw took a copy of the script and sat down to read.

He read through a few pages.

He turned the script back and read through a few pages.

He turned the script back again and read through a few pages.

Mr. Shaw looked up at the cast, cleared his throat and said, “This really is bad isn’t it?”

I like to think God knew what he was doing from square one.

I like to think that for God, there are no surprises.

I would not, anyway, be surprised if God was curious, as if in a lab experiment, about his latest creation.

I would not be surprised if God decided to give to curiosity and create man.

I for one, have no problem, letting God be God and do what he wants.

And I would not be surprised if God admitted that the results, how we handled or behaved or lived with, his new creation, seems to be turning out really bad, isn’t it?

6.12.2020 – just quiet enough

just quiet enough
to hear fireflies over the roar
made to keep me cool

I just read a note from my brother Jack.

Jack told how a new member of their neighborhood went into battle against his lawn with more equipment then Eisenhower landed at D-Day.

Jack recounted that while the neighborhood was assaulted with the roar of lawn care equipment, the new neighbor attacking his lawn, wore ear plugs.

This amount of noise for this amount of result was too much.

Should something be said?

Jack posed the question of what to do.

I understood.

Somehow George Washington created the first great lawn in America without a weed eater.

I have daydreamed about starting a lawn care company that used only non-powered tools

A lawn care company that would market commercials showing the “loud company” and sound of Boeing 747s taking off or just powered lawn care equipment and then go to my company and clip clip clip of on old fashioned hedge trimmer

The commercials would end with the tagline, “The Quiet Company,”

Then I felt sorry for the new neighbor.

What private hell must his work life be that in order to exhibit some measure of control in his life, he took on the theory and practice of the well kept yard, 21st century style.

Then I shook my head over the fact that anyone would try to control and manicure nature.

Mankind can keep nature at arms length for a while maybe.

When I was commuting into downtown Atlanta, I knew where to spot a sapling that was growing in an expansion joint of an I85 overpass.

It looked to be growing in solid concrete.

Yet it was there every year and every year a little bigger.

I used to own a house that had a back yard of Georgia forest.

When we moved in I attacked the back year with mowers, machetes, chain saws and axes.

My plan was to drive the trees and bracken back and have a real backyard.

I took out about about 20 trees.

Forest management is a fun and un-complicated way to really mess up your life.

Just the words “chain saw” should have mandatory warnings attached.

I mowed over stumps and small trees.

I burned and slashed.

I brought daylight into the forest in one summer.

The next spring, the forest reacted to all the new available sunshine and it exploded right back at me.

Growing up in Michigan, I thought I was an expert on poison ivy.

Down here I chopped poison ivy vines as thick as my wrist .

Over five years I reached a level of rapprochement with nature and we settled on a DMZ of about 15 feet behind the house.

Not sure what has happened since we left but my money is on Nature.

Next to keeping Nature under control, the effort to keep Nature’s heat under control is another effort with the questionable result of being cooler for the price of lots and lots of noise.

I remember a summer family trip to Wisconsin, we had checked into a hotel somewhere about halfway to my Uncle Jim’s summer cabin.

We were, probably about 11 or 12 of us, exploring the 2 hotel rooms and arguing over the folding beds when my brother Jack said, “Let’s go out on the balcony and listen to the roar of the air conditioner.”

I was all for it.

And when we filed out onto the balcony that overlooked the hotel parking lot and fenced in mechanical equipment, we were greeted with the wonderful roar of the hotel’s mighty HVAC system,

I was enthralled.

I was about 10.

I was a lot older before I figured out that Jack was being sarcastic.

I remember reading an essay once by a feller who wrote about the most wonderful sound in winter.

It was the sound an automatic coal basket made when it dropped fresh coal on the furnace fire in the middle of the night.

I knew just what the feller meant.

But for me, it was air conditioning.

To be sure we grew up with a Dad who loved air conditioning.

Dad had two temp settings for the A/C.

Off and FULL BLAST.

Whether at work, at home or in the car.

FULL BLAST.

A family summer trip riding in the front seat of the car with Dad was the coldest winter feeling I ever knew.

5 minutes was nice.

10 minutes was enough.

15 minutes you were numb.

20 minutes it was aching cold and agony and I had to pee so bad I thought I was going explode.

BUT THE sound.

The sound of air conditioning warms my heart and cools my soul.

We recently moved into an apartment.

We have a small ground floor porch that looks out over a forest.

For any apartment complex, any where, it is not too bad.

Of course just down from our porch are the air conditioning units for the building.

Out of sight, just over the hill to our left, about 1 mile away, is I85.

I hear the roar of the AC.

I feel the hum of the expressway.

I sit in a rocker and watch the dark come on.

I have heard these other sounds so long I don’t hear them.

As the dark gets darker, fireflies start flashing.

For me, over the roar of all the machines that run to keep me cool, I hear the fireflies.

It’s a nice spot.

The quiet.

Then without warning, there were kid’s screams,

But the kind of screams kids make when they are having the best time while being scared to death.

Two little boys ran past our porch.

Two little boys who had never seen lightning bugs, as my grand daughter told me to say in place of fireflies, before.

What I would give to be able to remember my first sighting of lighting bugs.

I envy my wife.

My wife had never seen the movie Casablanca.

When Bogart refused to get on the plane, my wife was surprised.

Me?

I cannot recall a time in my life when I didn’t know how Casablanca ended.

What’s it like to see for the first time.

What’s it like to see lighting bugs for the first time.

The boys ran around trying to catch them.

GOT ONE!

Did it bite?

Then the boys were gone.

The lightning bugs stayed around.

For the first time in my life one of them flew onto the porch and stopped about a foot from my face.

It blinked a few times and flew away.

I would have screamed like those boys if I could have got away it.

A quiet night in Georgia.

Listening to the lightning bugs and the roar of the A/C.

I sat back and I rocked in the twilight.

I wonder what my brother will do.

B