December 21 – memory takes me

memory takes me
from all my yesterdays to
all my tomorrows

So writes EB White in his essay, The Years of Wonder.

All the senses are gobsmacked by memory.

Sites.

Sounds.

Smells.

Touch and feel.

Tastes.

And the famous one way passage of time.

Small wonder that Christmas time can be an emotional baseball bat that wallops me upside the head and leaves me dazed and shaking.

For me, much of the Christmas experience is the look back from today.

The memories.

I can look at the books on my shelf and pick out one, no two, no three, too many to count, that were gifts and I remember when and where I got them and who gave them to me. My Mom and Dad. My Grandma and Grandpa Hendrickson are as much a part of this Christmas as the ones when I got those books as gifts years ago.

For me, much of the Christmas experience is the new memories I know that are as of yet unopened like the wrapped boxes under the tree. My grandchildren together and my children together.

What will I be remembering from this year?

For me, much of the Christmas experience is the look ahead that is possible through the salvation made possible by the Christ in Christmas.

I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach says Ebenezer Scrooge.

And, Mr. Dickens writes of Scrooge, “and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!“

December 20 – this side of crazy

this side of crazy
thinking wistful, wishful thoughts
treasure where heart is

This side of crazy, if I start down the path of the meaning of Christmas, gifts, shopping excess, crowds and avoiding crowds, its a quick trip to maudlin, depression and even despair.

Wistful thoughts.

Regrets.

Regretful longing says the Google.

Wishful thoughts,

All that I wish for.

Hope for.

Regretfully longing for all that I wish for.

I want it.

Hope for it.

And regret it at the same time.

‘Tis the season, I guess.

Good grief.

This is a quick trip to wrong side of crazy.

Am I over analyzing the situation?

DUH!!!

According to the St. Matthew the Apostle, ” For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Matt 6:21 KJV)

I have lost my heart I know.

Lost it a long time ago to a girl named Leslie.

Lost it again as both one by one and in bunches as we added kids to our family.

Found it in time to lose it all over again to a bunch of grand kids as they were added to our family.

No regrets.

Not wistful.

Maybe still a little wishful.

Lost my heart.

Gained whole piles of treasures.

December 19 – fuddled? befuddled?

fuddled? befuddled?
sluggish? comatose? dopey?
why am I driving?

If there was a breathalyzer for measuring the level of sleep in my bloodstream and if there was a legal limit to how much sleep could be measured in my bloodstream I would be in trouble.

I come out of weekend of sleeping until 7AM or 8AM somewhat refreshed and recharged.

By Thursday morning, after 4 days of getting up at 5:15AM, my brain is so clogged with sleep it hurts.

All the little tricks, cooler to colder water in the shower, bottomless cup of coffee and not sitting after I get downstairs, I still back the car out of the garage in a mild daze.

Or a mild haze.

Or a hazy daze.

Am I fuddled?

Or am I befuddled?

Both at the same time.

Unable to think clearly, confused or stupefied?

The google says that fuddle is used to describe someone in this state due to drink.

I am not drunk.

Just near to being asleep.

Fighting off the forces from the land of Nod.

So what do I do?

Drive to work of course.

December 18 – colors of the sky

colors of the sky
pastel mornings, oils at noon
watercolor nights

The angle of the axis and rotation of the globe have combined so that my day starts and ends in the dark.

Very few benefits to this but I get to see the sunrise and sunset each day.

It happens in my rearview mirror but still.

I had lived my entire life in West Michigan until moving to North Georgia about 10 years ago.

I thought that things like sunsets and twilight or first light and full dark were pretty much constant.

I never thought that these things might be influenced by a locations distance to the equator.

It makes sense, geometrically, but who goes through their day thinking geometrically (besides my brother the math teacher).

Weatherunderground.com posts the different times for:

Sunset
Civil Twilight
Nautical Twilight
Astronomical Twilight
Length of Visible Light

I am not sure what the difference in those things mean exactly but I am sure my good friends Chesley McNeil at WXIA or George Lessens at WZZM could explain it.

Here in Atlanta for December 17, there is 10 hours and 50 minutes of visible light.

Further up the globe in Grand Rapids, there is 10 hours and 5 minutes of visible light.

There is more light down here in the south.

But if you compare the time from sunset to astronomical twilight, Grand Rapids comes out on top with a total of 103 minutes of total twilight compared to Atlanta’s 90 minutes.

We noticed this right away after we moved down here.

The sun comes up fast.

The sun goes down fast.

I look out the window in the evening and think we have time for a walk while it is still light.

By the time we get outside, it is full dark.

Not much color to dark.

Most likely if you were looking for a color based adjective for night time, the word you come up with is inky.

But daylight.

I have as much ability in art as I do in music.

I can look and listen.

I look at the colors of the day.

Pastels done in sidewalk chalk to capture the powdery pinks and blues of morning.

The strict separation of colors in oils for the full sun of noon.

Spreading wet watercolors on a damp piece of paper for the evening.

Alice Walker writes, “I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it.”

I am not going to stop my car and get out and look at the colors in the sky.

I am not going to get out my phone and take a picture of the sky (I know it wouldn’t work anyway).

But I think God would be pissed off if I, at the very least, didn’t notice the show in the sky.

It happens every day.

December 17 – vacation hot spots?

vacation hot spots?
lounging endlessly with books
no need to travel

I remember when I was working the information desk at the Cascade Branch of the Kent District Library I was asked, “How do you know so much about the world?”

I answered that librarians had been everywhere, done everything and seen the world … just not in the first person.

When I was in college, I would roam the labyrinth of the Grad Library at the University of Michigan (reportedly some 5 million books on the shelf) and randomly take books of the shelves until my arms where full then I would sit in the reading room and disappear into the books.

What the library staff thought when they found my stacks of books left on the table, I never stuck around to find out.

This shelf surfing continues to this day, both online and in my local library.

Searching for the odd fact, photo, story or even recipe.

I was thinking about this because I keep reading stories about the best places for a vacation.

The 10 places you have to see before you die.

The 50 cities you have to visit.

It seemed to me that many of the descriptions included the phrase, “a great place to relax”.

A place to relax with a book.

I have to ask, “Why do I have to travel to relax?”

Travel headlines are about long lines, unreliable airplanes, reliably awful co-travelers and weather.

I am not a traveler.

I have no travel bucket list.

I have to say this is not a criticism of those of who do love to travel.

If you enjoy traveling, I am all for you.

I even admit, when I travel, I enjoy the opportuinty to see new things.

I sat on the front porch of the house were Elvis was born this year.

Top that!

For the most part, it is just not me.

I travel the world, just not in the first person.

Come aboard.

You will find me nearby.

Lounging endlessly through books, through the web.

No thought for time.

No need to travel.