same routine goes on
each day there is not much for
me to write about

No surprise that on Father’s Day I would be thinking about Dad and for inspiration, I turned to the letters he wrote home to his (then) girlfriend (now my Mom) during World War 2 when he was a Captain in the Army of the United States (not to be confused with the United States Army) serving as a Dentist in the Medical Detachment of the 12 Corps Headquarters unit.

It took a lot to impress my Dad.

In one letter, he opened with:

The same routine goes on by each day and so there is not much for me to write about. The weather stays the same, sometimes good and sometimes bad but never very warm.

The letter is from England and is dated June 12, 1944.

Almost exactly 81 years ago today.

Six days after D-Day.

Wikipedia states: The Normandy landings were the landing operations and associated airborne operations on 6 June 1944 of the Allied invasion of Normandy in Operation Overlord during the Second World War. Codenamed Operation Neptune and often referred to as D-Day (after the military term), it is the largest seaborne invasion in history. The operation began the liberation of France, and the rest of Western Europe, and laid the foundations of the Allied victory on the Western Front.

Six days later, Dad is writing:

The same routine goes on by each day and so there is not much for me to write about.

Boy, Howdy! It took a lot to impress my Dad.

What did impress Dad?

What did he write about when not writing about being 20 miles away from the largest seaborne invasion in history?

We had a good dinner of Roast Pork, mashed potatoes, gravy, lettuce, carrots and peas and some good cake.

Dad always liked good cake.

Late in his life, Dad had a problem with diabetes and had to watch his sugar intake.

Once Mom baked a flat cake and after dinner, she asked Dad if he wanted a piece for dessert.

Dad said yes and I was standing in the kitchen so Mom told me to cut one of the pieces of cake in half for Dad.

I asked Dad which half he wanted and he said in a very sad and woe-is-me voice, “The one with the most frosting.”

I looked at the cake and took the knife and cut the piece of cake in half parallel to the cake pan so that his slice had ALL the frosting on top.

Mom shook her head but Dad said, “Good boy!”

After his dinner of Roast Pork, mashed potatoes, gravy, lettuce, carrots and peas and some good cake, sweets were still on Dad’s mind and he wrote:

I would like to have you send me some more of that candy from Steketees, you know what type I mean. It really goes good around here. Everybody likes it and when I get a box like that there is enough so that we can all enjoy it.

Steketee’s was one of the three big department stores (along with Wurzburg’s and Herpleshimer’s that didn’t survive the mall era) in Grand Rapids, Michigan and they were famous for their Candy and Nut counter.

All things considered, Dad had a good World War 2.

He was in the army for just under 3 years with about half of that time in Europe and for the most part was focused on getting out and coming home.

I point out that in all of Dad’s letters, starting in the summer of 1942, NOT ONCE does Dad even question that the Germans would be beaten and when that was done, he would go home.

As I said, Dad was in the 12th Corps which was in Patton’s Third Army.

If you have ever seen the movie Patton, that opening speech was addressed to the Third Army so in a way, it was addressed to my Dad.

At the end of the speech, the Patton played by George C. Scott, closes with:

Now, there’s one thing that you men will be able to say when you get back home, and you may thank God for it.

Thirty years from now when you’re sitting around your fireside with your grandson on your knee, and he asks you, “What did you do in the great World War II?” — you won’t have to say, “Well, I shoveled shit in Louisiana.”

Well, Dad didn’t have to say that.

Nope.

He was in England eating Roast Pork, mashed potatoes, gravy, lettuce, carrots and peas and some good cake and thinking of candy from Steketee’s.

Click here to read the letter!

a remarkable
can-do knack recovering
from adversity

Growing up in a large family in Grand Rapids, Michigan, there was an unexpected benefit in being in the ‘2nd half’ in the kid line up.

I was 8th of 11 kids.

Up at that top half, most of my older brothers and sisters went off to college at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.

That meant that at least three times a year, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring Break, my Dad would take a day off to drive to Ann Arbor and pick up whoever was coming home for break.

What made it a benefit for us in the lower half of the family was that he would take a couple of out of school to make the trip with him and he would take us on into Detroit and see the sites.

Greenfield Village and the Henry Ford Museum.

The Detroit Institute of Art.

The Detroit Historical Museum.

Lunch in Greek Town.

Maybe a drive over to Windsor, thru the Windsor the Tunnel on the way their and back over the Ambassador Bridge on the way back.

We often went to Chicago to visit family, but Detroit was our city, the family ball club (though I flirted with the White Sox for a few years (it was a Bill Veeck thing) and Dad was always a Cub fan), the family football team.

We knew what ‘being stuck in Lodge’ meant (before sound barriers made all freeways feel like driving down the Lodge even though no one was throwing bowling bowls off of sound barriers like might happen to you down in the Lodge).

We knew you could park on TOP of Cobo Arena.

We knew where to park to eat lunch in Greek town.

That was back in late 1960’s early 1970’s.

When I ended up in Ann Arbor, Detroit was now just a 40 minute trip away and my sister was living in downtown and I often found myself in the City.

Also when you are used to having to make a three hour trip to see a Detroit Tiger Baseball Game, that 40 minute trip from Ann Arbor was nothing and we went to a lot of ball games at stadium located at The Corner.

Detroit, La Ville de Troit, the Village on the Straits, has been through a lot since then.

Hard to believe now that it was once the 5th largest city in the United States with 2.5 million people living and working in the city.

Then white flight to the suburbs, the plug gets pulled on the Auto industry and a lot of other issues combined to leave Detroit standing … but empty.

Anthony Bourdain would say in his 2013 Parts Unknown Show that Detroit isn’t just a national treasure. It IS America. And wherever you may live, you wouldn’t be there—and wouldn’t be who you are in the same way—without Detroit.

Who will live in the Detroit of the future? There’s no question, is there, that Detroit will come back? In one form or another, a city this magnificent, this storied, this American cannot, will not ever disappear into the weeds. There are too few places this beautiful for it to be allowed to crumble like Ankor or Rome.

Someone will live in a smaller, tighter, no doubt hipper, much contracted new Detroit. But who will that be? Will it be the people who stuck it out here, who fought block-by-block to keep their city from burning, who struggled to defend their homes, keep up appearances as all around them their neighborhoods emptied.

What will Detroit look like in 20 years? Or 50? That’s not just a Detroit question. That’s an America question.

So imagine how I felt this morning when I logged into the New York Times on my tablet to their Travel Feature 36 Hours in … focused on Detroit (Click here).

The article states: But Detroit has a remarkable knack for recovering from adversity, each time rising phoenixlike with renewed creativity and an undaunted can-do spirit. 

And points out: Last but not least, the city buzzes with excitement over the newfound success of the Lions, who have, much like the city, risen from down-and-out to greatness.

In a way I felt, Detroit was back.

The New York Times said so on the travel feature subtitled The one-stop resource for our travel guides, which tell you what to do when you’ve got 36 hours to get to know a city.

In 2025, it is recommended that to get to know the city of Detroit you should visit The Detroit Institute of Art, The Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village and eat in Greek Town.

Oh and the new Gordie Howe Bridge would be opening soon and a quick visit to Windsor would be even easier.

Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose?

sharing few bathrooms
creates a suboptimal
situation … yup!

Adapted from the passage in the article in The Guardian, Are there billions more people on Earth than we thought? If so, it’s no bad thing by Jonathan Kennedy, where Mr. Kennedy writes:

“… as anyone who has crammed into one house with their extended family over Christmas knows, many people sharing few bathrooms creates a suboptimal situation.

You won’t be able to shower exactly when you want – and you’d better make it a short one. But this hardly amounts to the end of civilization.

In fact, compromise and sharing is probably closer to most people’s idea of a good life than having the freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want.”

I will admit, right off the bat, I got nothing to complain about.

I grew up in a big family, 11 kids though 10 at time was the most who called home, home.

But I grew up in a big house.

There were seven kids when we moved into The Big House on Sligh Blvd. in Grand Rapids, Michigan, where I grew up, then I showed up and then my three little brothers.

That house was BIG.

It was a split level and there were three floors plus a huge basement so big, we played floor hockey down there.

It had six bedrooms but two and half bathrooms (not counting the now-a-days so called en suite bathroom off my parents bedroom.

For some reason, the upstairs bathroom had a tub and a shower, but for most of my life, Mom refused to put a shower curtain over the tub as that’s where so would throw us four little boys for our Saturday Night baths all at once and Mom would sit on the side of the tub and scrub our hair with soapy smelling Breck Shampoo.

There was a shower stall in the laundry room but never once did I ever see anyone use it.

By the time I could remember things, Mom had put a closet rod in there and hung up clean laundry that was waiting to be distributed to the bedrooms.

With 4 places where you could take care of things, even when 12 people in the house, I can’t complain.

My wife’s family had 12 kids, nine of them girls and for a good chunk of their lives together, made due with one bathroom.

We all managed quite nicely and then would come the holiday season.

As my older brothers and sister got married and moved out, they all came back at Christmas time and as their families grew, the big house would get filled up.

Sometimes other relatives would show up at the same time and we would be spread out on sofas and floors with blankets or sleeping bags.

I will repeat and agree with Mr. Kennedy when he states: “… anyone who has crammed into one house with their extended family over Christmas knows, many people sharing few bathrooms creates a suboptimal situation.”

It seems like it was my brother Paul, who almost every year made the drive at Christmas time from his home on east coast with his wife and four kids, who said that “It wasn’t difficult to take a shower with hot water. It was just a matter of timing.”

Needing the bathroom for bathroom business and bathing was one thing.

Growing up, my family brought the suboptimal situation to a whole other level as we always managed to come down with what we called “The Stomach Flu.”

Norovirus, The 24 Hour Bug or my favorite from Great Britain, Winter Vomiting, it all came down to the fact that at some point, when the house full to bursting, between Christmas and New Years, some one would announce, I GOT TO THROW UP.

Your first thought was anger at the person who got sick first and who we blamed for bringing the bug into the house and your second thought was, who will be next and your last thought was, when will it be my turn.

Because, at some point, it would be your turn.

Was it better to be first, get it over with despite having everyone mad at you?

Or to be last and worry that every twinge, every stomach growl was the beginning of something worse.

We had buckets and bowls and pans.

The first person who came down with the bug would get into bed along with an old revere-wear stainless steel double boiler pot that was indestructible and also known as the barf bowl.

I came home from school once to find Mom making brownies and melting chocolate squres in that double boiler and I would not eat any of those brownies.

Mom made lots of brownies but if I didn’t SEE her make them in that bowl, I was fine.

It is hard for me to imagine the production line of buckets and bowls and soiled bedding that Mom had to deal with during these outbreaks.

Not only was she in charge of housekeeping but chief nurse as well as dietician.

She would monitor all the sick ones as well as encourage the ones who had yet to fall sick and she comforted those on the comeback.

At some point you would be offered a milkshake (with a raw egg in it to help get ‘some weight back on’ that Mom added without telling us) and you knew the worst was over.

I remember one year giving in to the inevitable when I came down with it late at night.

Knowing I wouldn’t be sleeping, I made a log of all the times I barfed and later graphed it out.

It was then that I noticed that the times between barfing decreased – you threw up more and more often – until it didn’t and once you had a period of time longer between barfing than the previous time, the barfing peaked and you were over the worst and maybe had just one or two more times to go.

After learning this I tried to ‘game’ the stomach flu by trying to throw up fast and furious to get to that magic peak but I learned it had to happen when it had to happen.

For some reason, I never got my family interested in my research but when I became a parent I always kept an eye on things and could tell when one the kids had made the turn.

I was older and I had my own family but I still knew that many people sharing few bathrooms creates a suboptimal situation.

I might not be able to shower exactly when I want – and I’d better make it a short one. But this hardly amounts to the end of civilization.

In fact, compromise and sharing is probably closer to most people’s idea of a good life than having the freedom to do whatever you want, whenever you want.”

It certainly can get worse.

to provide for
uniform observances
public holidays

On June 28, 1968, Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, which moved four holidays, including Memorial Day, from their traditional dates to a specified Monday in order to create a three-day weekend. The change moved Memorial Day from its traditional May 30 date to the last Monday in May. The law took effect at the federal level in 1971 all according to Wikipedia.

It is the books as Public Law 90-363 based on House Resolution 15951, “To provide for uniform annual observances of certain legal public holidays on Mondays, and for other purposes.”

The first time this law went into effect would have been Monday, May 31st, 1971.

Had it not been for this law, Memorial Day that year would have been Sunday, May 30th … which means it most likely would have been celebrated on Monday anyway.

I can’t say I remember.

I do remember being bothered that some holidays were being moved just so, as I was told, Government workers could have a three day weekend.

And I think, in my goofy way, I continued to push for celebrating Memorial Day on the 30th and not the last Monday but that was me being me.

My family was big on celebrating Memorial Day or Decoration Day as we called it.

At some point in the week ahead, my Dad would come home with what we called ‘planters’ which were live flowers in a low cardboard box that would fit in the cement funeral urns next to headstones in cemeteries.

The first Memorial Day I remember was the spring of 1965 when I was four as flowers were put on my Grandma Hoffman’s grave for the first time as she had just died on May 18th of the that year.

Grandma Hoffman, for me, was a very special person though I don’t have too many memories of her.

The story that stands out is one told over and over again by many people by the time I was four, is that after I would do something, Grandma would say, “Don’t worry … don’t worry … about Mike … He will turn out okay.”

Not sure what this says, but it says a lot I am sure.

Again … that was being said when I was four.

It was in late May of 1965 that my Dad bought some flowers and took me and my three year old brother Pete and we picked up his sister, my Aunt Marion and we went to Fairplains Cemetery in Grand Rapids where Grandma and Grandpa Hoffman had been buried.

The funeral had been just a few weeks earlier and Aunt Marion pointed with her finger at the grass and said to Pete and I, “See the outline of the grave where the coffin was buried?”

Boy howdy could I see it !

Just after Grandma died, my Dad had brought me and Pete to his office to get us out of the house.

The funeral home, the original Creston Funeral Home, was across Plainfield Avenue from his office and Dad says, “Lets go see Grandma.“

I remember crossing the street in bright sunshine and going through the doors of the funeral home.

One of the undertakers came up and Dad said, “I’d like to see my Mother.”

The undertaker led us down a hall, though a double door into dark room.

The undertaker snapped on some lights, and there, surrounded by flowers was my first coffin.

We walked over and the undertaker fiddled with a latch and opened the lid and there was Grandma.

In my mind, I had stopped breathing when the lights came on and both Pete and I stood stock still.

Dad looked down and told us, “It’s like she is sleeping.”

Oh, okay. Why is she in the box if she is asleep I wanted to ask.

“Do you want a look?” he asked.

No, I am good I said to myself, I am good right here and can see just fine but I guess I nodded yes as Dad picked me with his hands under my arms and leaned me in for a close up.

“You can touch her hand,” he said.

How could I touch her hand when my hands were pulled back into my arms as tight as could be.

No … no … that’s okay, I was thinking but I didn’t want to disappoint Dad so I stuck out a finger for the shortest touch possible.

Then Dad set me down and it was Pete’s turn and while Pete was getting a good look, I started to move slowly for the door.

What I also remember, with absolute clarity, was how bright the world seemed when we got outside and I started breathing again.

Dad may have had second thoughts about taking us as we stopped at the drugstore to get comic books on the way home.

As an aside my brother Bobby had an experience like this as when Dad had to take my Grandpa Hoffman to the hospital for the last time, he brought 10 year old Bobby along and, well, Grandpa didn’t come home. A few years later when Mom had to be taken to the hospital for the next baby, which may have been me, Bobby freaked out. But I digress.

When Aunt Marion asked if I could see the outline of the grave where the coffin was buried I had no trouble seeing the outlines, the grave and the coffin down there under the dirt.

I said I could see, no problem.

No problem at all.

My Dad got out the flowers he had purchased and placed them in the urn.

I doubt my Grandma’s headstone had been prepared yet so that day it would have just been Grandpa Hoffman’s tombstone.

The stones hadn’t been ordered at the same time and the tombstone place couldn’t match the colors and forever after when Grandma’s headstone had been delivered, my Dad would mention the fact that the colors didn’t match.

After Fairplains, we got in the car and drove over to Fulton Street Cemetery where Great Grandma DeYoung and her family was buried.

I remember that there went any planters here so Dad had brought along a flat of petunias and Aunt Marion took a trowel and we helped her plant the flowers around the graves.

Years later, I would bring my kids to the Cemetary.

I don’t have many regrets in life but that my marriage and all our children happened after my Dad died is one of them.

But also I remember that one summer along Lake Michigan, a big black boulder showed up on the beach for awhile.

(That boulders would come and go from the beach was a mystery until one winter I was out on the shore when high winds were crashing waves with huge blocks of ice on the beach and everything and I mean everything got moved around.)

One night sitting out on the deck over looking the beach, Dad pointed and said, “When I die, you can use that boulder for a headstone.”

I said, wellll, okay and we both laughed.

I remembered that and while I couldn’t get that rock, for years on Memorial Day, I would place a bunch of smaller rocks from the lake around his tombstone.

The cemetery groundskeeper couldn’t figure out where those rocks came from but they kept removing them.

But on Memorial Day, I would take our kids, first just the one then two then three then all seven and we would get some cemetery planters at Kingma’s and we get Grandma we would go to Fairplains and decorate the graves.

Dad’s grave was about 50 yards in front of my Grand Parents in Fairplains.

You could watch the cemetery expand as the residents of the North End of Grand Rapids died.

My Dad liked to say that come judgment day, Fairplains Cemetery was going to be like a Sunday School picnic.

It was fascinating to watch the rows expand around my Dad’s grave and how on Memorial Day, there would be solid ranks of American flags that marked the generation that fought in World War 2.

My Mom would get out, I would grab a planter – always red geraniums – and the kids would grab buckets and some stiff brushes and we would clean off the graves and leave the flowers.

First my Dad’s grave and then Grandpa and Grandma Hoffman.

Then my Mom would walk around a little, remarking on folks she had known.

I never asked, but Mom had remember my Dad’s comments on his parents Grave stones so when my Dad died, she ordered a matching stone for herself and for years, saw her stone with a blank space for the final year.

But they match and that’s what Mom wanted.

Lots of good things to remember on remembrance day.