3.24.2020 – You’ll say to yourself

You’ll say to yourself
scared of life, more of dying
life at any price

Sitting this morning drinking coffee, listen to my neighborhood come awake.

The loudest noise was birdsong.

Brown Thrashers, Cardinals, maybe red wing blackbirds.

Then the garbageman.

It was early for the garbageman but I had read that that job was a little easier as traffic was so sparse in the mornings.

I listened to the noise of the garbageman and I said to myself, “The Garbageman cometh.”

Which made me say out loud, “The Iceman cometh.”

My next thought was of the NBA great George Gervin who was nicknamed, “The Iceman”.

Whenever his team, the San Antonio Spurs, played on TV, the announcers would say, “The Iceman Cometh.”

As I sat this morning with all this going through my head, I realized I had no idea what the “The Iceman Cometh” was.

In the back of my mind I was pretty sure it was a play.

It was up in my memory down the same hallway with “Death of Salesman” so maybe it was by Arthur Miller.

I did the google and found out it’s a Eugene O’Neil play.

The play, “The Iceman Cometh” is something I have never read.

I scanned the wikipedia article on Iceman Cometh.

I read some of the lines of the play.

I took the lines of today’s Haiku from one of lines.

Words from yesterday still have messages for today.

Mr. O’Neil is someone I have never read.

Maybe it is time I did.

3.22.2020 – opportunity

opportunity
do something not do nothing
make a difference

My wife and I tried to make Saturday as normal as possible.

I was feeling blue as we had tickets to the Atlanta Symphony concert for that night but it had been postponed.

The tickets were a Christmas gift from my wife.

It would have been our first time of going out on the town in downtown ATL in a long long time.

Something that was incredibly thoughtful of my wife.

Something I had been looking forward too since Christmas.

I don’t think I have to say that the concert has been ‘postponed.’

We went for a walk in one of favorite parks.

We stopped at our favorite local coffee shop.

I ordered my favorite cup of coffee, the Ho-Chi-Minh-City, a Vietnamese drink of expresso, sweetened condensed milk and steamed milk.

My wife asked about the Pumpkin Spice Latte listed as a special and the kid behind the counter said, “It is very good. I came up with the recipe.”

While we were waiting the phone rang and we listened in to one side of the conversation that went like this.

“Yes, we are open.”

“Yes, our menu is available.”

“No, sorry, no eating in, the dining area is closed.”

“Sorry, Ma’am, but there isn’t a restaurant that is open for dining in Suwanee.”

He hung up and looked at us and we shook our heads and laughed.

Then another couple came in, new to Cafe Amica.

The kid asked if they wanted to order and they asked for a minute to look at the menu.

‘Ho-Chi_Minh-City ….. hmmmmm,” said the guy looking at the menu.

I couldn’t stop myself.

Following social distancing guidelines, I leaned and said, “that is the best cup of coffee in Gwinnett County. It is what I always order here.”

We all laughed together and my wife chimed in to say, “That’s true, he won’t try any of the other drinks,”

I then quoted Bogart in Casablanca and said, “I stick my neck out for nobody but I will for this.”

The couple looked at each other and laughed and ordered the Ho-Chi-Minh.

We got out coffees and said our goodbyes and went out the Towncenter Park.

The park is a great place to walk.

It is made up of a oval green space with intersecting circles of sidewalks and a perimeter sidewalk.

The green space was filled with families with footballs, soccer balls, frisbies and kites.

The sidewalks were filled with walkers, runners and bikes.

Signs lined the sidewalks asking everyone to follow social distancing guidelines and we did.

Walking the perimeter we passed the couple from the coffee shop and they raised their coffee cups and smiled and said the coffee was great and we smiled and went on our way.

It was almost normal.

We felt better.

Thinking over this I was struck by this passage in an article I read online.

Active coping is vital. “Trying to do something rather than doing nothing is extremely important for resilience. This is a real opportunity, and we need to recognise it as such. And don’t forget that coronavirus isn’t the only thing that’s contagious: happiness is contagious too, as well as fear. If you go outside, smile at people. Be really friendly. It can and will make a huge difference.*

In the little bit I have been out and about I am happy to report that the people where I live HAVE BEEN friendly.

And from my personal experience, I can say it does make a huge difference.

3.20.2020 – Like breathing out, in

Like breathing out, in
I’ve grown accustomed to the race
makes the day begin

I get up.

The coffee is ready.

Read my Bible.

Read the morning papers.

Drink my coffee.

Then it is off to work.

And I work into our back room.

No morning commute.

No speeding cars.

No trucks.

No cop cars.

No traffic.

No available minutes to sort out my life.

No time to question the great questions.

No audio book.

No music to pass the time.

Like breathing out and in.

After 10 years.

52 weeks a year.

5 days a week.

1 and a half hours a day.

I have spent 162 days on I85.

The drive that makes the day begin.

I don’t miss it.

I don’t miss it one bit.

But it was a big part of something that has gone missing.

Have I grown accustomed to the race?

But I’m so used to hear her say
“Good morning” every day

Her joys, her woes
Her highs, her lows

Are second nature to me now
Like breathing out and breathing in

I’m very grateful she’s a woman
And so easy to forget

Rather like a habit
One can always break

And yet I’ve grown accustomed to the trace

Of something in the air
Accustomed to her face

From I’ve Grown Accustomed To Her Face in the musical, My Fair Lady.

2.18.2020 – simple pleasures

simple pleasures
what does innocence smell like
bake those biscuits brown

Sometime in my life a romance with biscuits began.

Maybe it was just the name of Paul Bunyan’s head cook, Hot Biscuit Slim (and the dessert cook, Cream Puff Fatty) that got me going.

Maybe it was the reoccurring theme of biscuits and gravy, biscuits and RED EYE gravy on the Beverly Hillbillies.

Maybe it was Atticus Finch calling to Jem, “Son, why don’t you come down out of there now and have your breakfast. Calpurnia has a good one. Hot biscuits.”

Maybe it was reading how Mrs. Truman was told they didn’t serve biscuits at the White House.

At least they didn’t until Mrs. Truman showed up and gave the kitchen hell over store-bought cold dinner rolls and hot biscuits turned up for the President’s breakfast.

In my brain somewhere is a memory of coming home from a summer trip in Northern Southern Michigan or was it upper – lower Michigan, the Sleeping Bear area.

My Dad spotted a Kentucky Fried Chicken and pulled over.

Taking the family out to eat must have been a bit of gut check for my Dad, what with wife and nine or ten kids and most likely a cousin or two for the fun of it.

Seems like there was a Lower along this trip.

We got buckets of chicken and boxes of biscuits and sat out on picnic tables on a summer night.

The biscuits came with packets of honey.

I ate about a dozen biscuits.

Okay, not a dozen, but I know I took more than I should have.

And so it started.

I wanted to learn to bake biscuits.

Not just any biscuits, but the biscuits that were the stuff of culliary legend.

The food stuff that built a country.

My Mom let me try Bisquick first and we moved on to Pillsbury biscuits in a cardboard tube.

Good but not good enough to create legend.

I moved on to baking powder and cooking oil and got pretty good making a biscuit I really liked.

One summer, before going back to school in Ann Arbor, I wanted to bring the taste of summer with me.

Like Grandma in Dandelion Wine by Ray Bradbury who would be “drawn to the cellar of winter for a June adventure”, I wanted something that might be a sudden patch light in the Michigan snow.

So I learned how to make blueberry jam.

Blueberries that had grown up along the shore of Lake Michigan and sucked in sunshine until they were ready to burst.

That jam and my biscuits were my secret weapon that winter.

Loved my biscuits but I didn’t mind when my friend Salle stopped by with a loaf a bread.

She said she saw the bread through a bakery window as it came of the oven and all she could think of was my jam.

We ate the whole loaf and a jar of jam.

My body misses those days, but I digress.

My biscuits were good … but not (yet) great.

I kept studying the cookbooks and came away with a missing ingredient.

Lard.

Remember lard?

When Cousin Vinnie goes into the diner and the menu lists, BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER and orders breakfast, the cook starts by dropping a cup of lard onto the grill.

Lard and a hot, hot oven.

Now my biscuits were something.

Brown, crunchy, soft, flakey all at the same time.

Biscuits and gravy.

Sausage gravy.

Ham gravy.

White pepper gravy.

CHICKEN GRAVY.

I get hungry in an awful bad way just thinking about it.

For Christmas my son gave me a cast iron skillet.

I had been looking at it for a couple for weeks.

Thinking this was just the thing for biscuits.

Finally got around to trying it.

I am near 60 years old.

After years of trying I have it.

A simple recipe.

A simple skillet.

A simple pleasure.

And the smell of the biscuits baking.

Down south there was a comedian named Jerry Clower.

Some of his stuff is just poetry as comedy.

But the sound of his voice telling stories of the south is a thing of near mythology.

I came across an interview with him done by Mississippi Public Radio when he was asked what was his fondest memory of growing up.

He talked about a day where you had to work in the fields but it rained.

It rained and so you couldn’t work.

You would sit on the front porch, watch the rain and smell the biscuits cooking.

Smell the biscuits cooking.

Biscuits.

A simple innocent pleasure.

Biscuits cooking.

The smell of innocence.

Boil em cabbage down
Bake em biscuits brown
The only song that i can sing is
Boil em cabbage down

Someone asked, all this and no recipe?

Whups.

2 cups of flour
3 teaspoons of baking power
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup of lard

Cut the lard into the dry ingedients

Add 1 cup of milk and knead into a dough
Flatten and cut out biscuits with a glass or a jar or a biscuit cutter
Place tight together so they raise in an ungreased iron skillet or baking pan
Bake in a hot 450 degree oven until brown (about 20 minutes)

Smell those biscuits baking and relax

2.7.2020 – Humiliate, don’t!

Humiliate, don’t!
Humility, live; avoid
Humiliation

It all begins with humble.

Humble the adjective.

Not proud or haughty : not arrogant or assertive according to the online Merriam-Webster dictionary.

Solomon wrote (maybe), When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
(Proverbs 11:2)

I would like to think I live with humility.

Humbly.

Humble.

To paraphrase Mr. Churchill, I have much to be humble about.

Such knife edge differences in the words.

Such knife edge differences in the actions.

Humiliate.

Humility.

Humiliation.

All begins with humble.

I am not sure what comes to me when I humiliate anyone.

Remembering times when I did makes my stomach hurt and my skin crawl.

And I remember.

I hope the persons involved on the other end don’t.

I guess that is why its called scarring.

Humiliation is awful.

According to Wikipedia, ‘A study by researchers at the University of Michigan revealed that “the same regions of the brain that become active in response to painful sensory experiences are activated during intense experiences of social rejection.” In other words, humiliation and isolation are experienced as intensely as physical pain.’

Maybe more awful is that it is so often self inflicted.

In so so many ways.

I think of ways to feel humiliation.

To feel humiliated.

Humiliation is supposed to result from a deliberate act by a person to belittle someone.

To often, most often, that person, is me.

The humiliation is in my mind.

That doesn’t make any less real.

I am humiliated that I need to use the bathroom.

Is that stupid or what?

Felt that way most of my life.

As a little kid.

As a big kid.

As an adult [sic].

I can stop at a public rest area off the freeway and I stop TO walk around JUST TO STRETCH MY LEGS.

“OH LOOK,” I think, “there is a restroom. Well, since I am here, I might as well use it.”

OH COME ON!

The secret is, EVERYONE HAS TO PEE.

Get over it Mike.

Lately, I have.

I laugh at myself.

I know the secret.

Everyone has to pee.

If I were King, I would make a proclamation.

BE IT KNOWN, THROUGH OUT THE LAND, EVERYONE HAS TO PEE.

And let it go at that.

Here is the point.

I know this example, while real, is comical, compared to other things over which I punish myself with self humiliation.

But there is a response to this.

Comical as it might sound, the answer might be the same to a lot of those other things.

I have to remember always, everyone has to pee.

[sic] from the latin sic erat scriptum, or ‘thus was it written’ or, ‘as it understood’. Use of [sic] made famous by the student newspaper of Georgia Tech whenever referring to University of Georgia in print, IE: University of Georgia [sic].