allows the NFL
to measure accurately
and efficiently
The official NFL Tweet states:
introducing the new virtual measurement system for first downs, which allows the NFL to accurately and efficiently measure the distance between the spotted ball and the line to gain.
As Herman Wouk wrote in his book, The Caine Mutiny:
You just have to develop an ear for Navy prose … for instance, note that split infinitive in paragraph three. If you want a letter to sound official, split an infinitive.
This new system is supposed to take only 30 seconds to determine where the ball should be while the old fashioned, been around since Moses played football, chain gang on the sidelines, takes 40 seconds.
This is real progress.
Yet I have to think that the new way will be less.
Think of the old Alfred Hitchcock scenario.
Talking about SHOCK vs SUSPENSE, the Director said take two guys and let them talk baseball and then set off a bomb and the audience is shocked and goes on … take two guys and let them talk baseball and SHOW THE BOMB under the table with 5 minutes on a timer and you got a theater full of people screaming LOOK UNDER THE TABLE for 5 MINUTES.
IN the old way, the Referee calls for a measurement and the chain gang drags their equipment out from the sidelines.
One little known piece of the equipment is a small white plastic disk with 10 holes around the edge with the numbers 0 5 10 15 etc for labels.
It looks a lot like an old telephone dial piece of plastic.
The disc is as wide as any of the yard lines that cross the playing field.
Each time the chains are move for a 1st down, the sideline ref takes the disk and clips it the chains where it crosses a yard line.
If the yard line is the 25, the Ref puts the clip through the hole marked 25 and then clips the disc to the chain so that it lays flat over the 25 yardl line
When the chain gang is called on the make a measure, they run out on the field and the ref puts that disk down on the 25 and the steps on it and then the two yard markers are stretched out mark the ball.
All in about 40 seconds, while everyone is one the edge of their seats in suspense.
Its a nice piece of melodrama if you ask me.
But its on the way out.
We will now have the Sony InstaCheck brought to you by some chiropractor that ‘always finds the right spot.’
Yessir, Sometimes I do hate the 21st century.
No Haiku For You 