Month: September 2019

September 30 – Did I just hear this?

Did I just hear this?
Mercedes, Tell me a joke?
“Sorry we’re German”

Listening to the radio from London, a commercial touting Mercedes Benz Siri-like voice activated information system, ended with the line, “Mercedes, Tell me a joke?”

“Sorry, we’re German” is what I remembered hearing.

A quick Google search showed that the line is actually, “Sorry, my engineers were German.”

From the google post that I saw, this tagline has been around since February of 2018.

Apparently if you have Mercedes Benz assistant on your Mercedes and ask, “Mercedes, tell me a joke?”, that response is pre-programmed.

I am not prepared for humor at this level of business.

I have been made so timid by social media, my first reaction is, how did they dare that?

My 2nd reaction was, boy, am I glad they dared to do that.

September 27 – working or driving

working or driving
ID-10T errors,
make my day complete

ID-10T errors.

Do I want to make you google it?

Should I tell you?

Maybe if it was just spelled out.

Other fun errors encountered on a help desk:

PMAC – problem exists between monitor and chair
PICNIC – problem in chair, not in computer
IBM error – idiot behind machine error

I made this one up for driving on Atlanta freeways:

PEBSWADS – problem exists between steering wheel and drivers seat

September 26 – swimming to the top

swimming to the top
I wake up underwater
break surface and breathe

Daily battle to wake up.

Struggle to the surface, forcing my way out of the depths of sleep.

Claw my way.

Kicking.

Break through the water and into a gray day and fight to stay a float.

Or.

Hands together above my head.

Fingers pointing straight.

Body twists as my legs flex and feet paddle.

Knifing through the water.

I porpoise out of the water.

Into the sunshine.

Water drops dazzle like diamonds.

Hand closes into a fist raised over my head.

“NOT TODAY!”, I shout.

To nobody but myself.

(NOTE* I was listening to the radio as I typed this. By chance, Richard Strauss’s Sunrise from Thus Spoke Zarathustra (1896) was playing on the radio. Unexpected moments like this are the Oreo’s in your lunch bag that someone else put in there for you.)