I just hit the ball
in all the places I know
I shouldn’t hit it
“I didn’t have a very good warm-up session and I kept it going all day today,” Woods said.
“I just hit the ball in all the places that I know I shouldn’t hit it. And I missed a lot of putts. Easy, makable putts. I missed a lot of them.”
Tiger Woods on his play on the 3rd day at the 2024 Master’s Tournament as quoted in the article, Tiger Woods makes unwanted Masters history while Scheffler edges into lead by Ewan Murray at Augusta.
Back in the day, sportswriters gathered around athletes in locker rooms or anywhere after an event and hoped for a great quote, a quote, any quote, the sports writer could use to construct a story.
Sometimes the sports writer might score an exclusive by being the only reporter around.
Today, by agreement with the people who run sports, these poor athletes have to drag themselves to a room filled with sports writers, sit at table on a platform down front and answer the question, “What happened out there today?”
Yesterday Mr. Woods was obviously honest.
When asked what happened when he shot an 82 (a bad score I am told and if I remember correctly an 82 is what Roy McAvoy, played by Kevin Costner, shot in the movie, Tin Cup), Mr. Woods said, “I just hit the ball in all the places that I know I shouldn’t hit it. And I missed a lot of putts. Easy, makable putts. I missed a lot of them.”
That about sums it up.
I am reminded of a story Jim Bouton tells in his book, Ball Four, about Mickey Mantle being asked about a home run.
“He’d be interviewed by some announcer about a home run he hit, with the wind blowing from left to right and the ball had been curving into the wind and thus was saved from going foul. “That’s right,” Mickey said. “When I noticed the wind blowing like that—I always check, you know—I put the proper English on the ball, left or right, up or down, depending upon which way the wind is blowing.”
Mr. Bouton writes that the announcer who asked the question never even looked up, just wrote it all down in his notes.
What if we were faced with obvious questions about what happened to us or why we did something.
One summer when I was a kid, my Dad came home with a chain saw.
“What did you get that thing for?” my Mom asked.
“To clean out the brush. As long as I use it properly, there is nothing to worry about.”
“You will be out in the woods and hurt yourself!”
“I got an electric one so I can’t be out in the woods as it needs an extension cord. As long as I use it properly, there is nothing to worry about.”
“You are a Dentist and you are going to cut your fingers off!“
“As long as I use it properly, there is nothing to worry about.”
A few hours later, I was sitting in the kitchen and my Dad came in.
His hand was wrapped in a towel that was turning red with blood.
“Where’s Mother?” Dad asked as he looked around, trying to hide his bloody hand.
“Dad, what happened out there?” I asked.
“I wasn’t using it properly!“
That about summed it up.
No Haiku For You 